Eve - Iris Johansen [59]
Shock rippled through her. “No, Bonnie was mine and always will be mine. You had nothing to do with her.” She paused. “Unless you were the one who murdered her. Catherine thinks it might be you.”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. It might be true.”
“And what would you do if you found that it was?”
“I’d kill you.”
“Interesting.”
“Is it? I’m glad you find the prospect entertaining. I mean it, John.”
“I know you do. That’s why it’s interesting. You’ve developed the killer instinct. Whenever I thought about you, I thought of you strong, driven, the huntress, yet never violent. What did you think about me?”
“You were out of my life; and then I thought you were dead. I didn’t think of you.”
“Yes, you did. You may have pushed it into the background, but the memory was always there, wasn’t it?”
“No, my life was too full to remember a kid who dropped into it, screwed me, then disappeared.”
“I had years of fullness, too, and of emptiness, and of darkness, and of a haze somewhere in between. But I always remembered you, Eve. You were something to hold on to in the darkness.” He chuckled. “And in the haze you could be anything I wanted you to be. I must tell you about that period in my life.”
“I don’t want you to tell me anything. Except the truth about Bonnie. Did you kill her?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I didn’t?”
“I might.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You never trusted me even when we were … close.”
“You were here in Atlanta the month she disappeared. I know that much. Do you deny it?”
“I don’t deny it.”
Silence.
“Is that all you’re going to say?”
“I didn’t phone you to answer questions. Phones are so impersonal, and impersonal is something we’ve never been with each other.”
“If you won’t answer questions about yourself, what about Paul Black? What’s your connection with him?”
“I know him. He’s part of my darkness.”
“Dammit, don’t give me double-talk. Black confessed to his cellmate that he killed Bonnie. Catherine also said he had some connection with you. What connection?”
He ignored the question. “I want to see you.”
“What?”
“I thought talking to you might be enough, but I’ve changed my mind. It’s been very … provocative. I’ve decided that there has to be final resolution. I know who you are, what you’ve become, but I have to reach out and touch it.”
“No, you don’t. You have to tell me if you killed my Bonnie.”
“We’ve already discussed the absence of my credibility.”
“Answer me.”
Silence. “No, I did not. Do you believe me?”
She didn’t answer.
“You see, if I’d answered yes, you would have believed me. But denial is always the problem. Should I say I killed her?”
“I want the truth.”
“You always did. I want to see you, Eve.”
“So you can kill me, too?”
“Why should I?”
“Because I’m after you. I’ll find you. I’ll find out if you killed Bonnie. If you’re a murderer, that would be reason enough to kill me.”
“Good reasoning. And, add to that the fact that you’ve already said that you’d kill me if you thought I’d killed Bonnie, it should make me very lethal-minded.”
“You’re taking all of this very lightly.”
“No, I’m not.” The mockery was suddenly gone from his tone. “If I were, I’d be handling this in an entirely different manner. I’d disappear where you couldn’t find me. I’d find a way to rid myself of Catherine Ling in a manner of which you would not approve. But I found myself unwilling to do either. So the only other alternative is to come to terms with you.”
“After all these years?”
“A good many things got in the way. Not the least was Bonnie’s death.”
“If you didn’t kill her, why didn’t you contact me? I know she didn’t mean anything to you, but she was your daughter. Surely even you couldn’t be callous enough to ignore the fact that she’d been kidnapped.”
“I didn’t ignore it.” He paused. “When can I see you?”
“When you’re willing to come into an ATLPD precinct and make a full disclosure. There’s no way I’d risk meeting you one-on-one.”
“But of course you’ll do it. Do you think I don’t know how desperate you are? I’ve watched and followed your path for years.