Evermore - Alyson Noel [104]
White rosebuds—The heart that knows no love; heart ignorant of love.
And I know he was testing me. The whole entire time. Holding this huge life-changing secret with absolutely no idea how to tell me, not knowing if I’d accept it, reject it, or turn him away. Flirting with Stacia just to get a reaction, so he could eavesdrop on my thoughts and see if I cared. And I’d become so adept at lying to myself, denying my feelings about practically everything, I ended up confusing us both.
And while I certainly don’t condone what he did, I have to admit that it worked. And now, all I have to do to see him again is just say the words out loud and he’ll manifest right here before me. Because the truth is, I do love him. I’ve loved him without ceasing. I’ve loved him since that very first day. I loved him even when I swore that I didn’t. I can’t help it, I just do. And even though I’m not so sure about this whole immortal business, Summerland was pretty cool. Besides, if Riley is right, if there is such a thing as fate and destiny, then maybe it applies to this too?
I shut my eyes and imagine the feel of Damen’s warm wonderful body curled around mine, the whisper of his soft sweet lips on my ear, my neck, my cheek, the way his mouth feels when it parts against mine—I hold onto that image, the feel of our perfect love, our perfect kiss, as I whisper the words I’ve held all this time, the ones I was too scared to speak, the ones that will bring him back to me.
I say them over and over again, my voice gaining strength as they fill up the room.
But when I open my eyes, I’m alone.
And I know I waited too long.
thirty-seven
I head downstairs, in search of some ice cream, knowing a rich and creamy Häagen-Dazs Band-Aid can’t possibly heal my broken heart, though it just might help soothe it. And after retrieving a quart from the freezer, I cradle it in my arms and reach for a spoon, then the whole thing crashes to the ground when I hear a voice say:
“So touching, Ever. So very, very touching.”
I bend over, squeezing the toes that got nailed by a quart of Vanilla Swiss Almond, as I gape at a perfectly turned-out Drina—legs crossed, hands folded, a prim and proper lady, seated right there at my breakfast bar.
“So cute how you called out for Damen after conjuring that chaste little love scene in your head.” She laughs, her eyes grazing over me. “Ah, yes, I can still see inside your head. Your little psychic shield? Thinner than the Shroud of Turin, I’m afraid. Anyway, as far as you and Damen and your happily ever after, and after, and after?” She shakes her head. “Well, you know I can’t let that happen. As it turns out, my life’s work has been destroying you, and little do you know, I still can.”
I gaze at her, concentrating on my breath, keeping it slow and steady, while I try to clear my mind of all incriminating thought, knowing she’ll only use it against me. But the thing is, trying to clear your mind is about as effective as telling someone to not think about elephants—from that moment on that’s all they’ll think about.
“Elephants? Really?” She groans, a low evil sound that vibrates the room. “My God, what does he see in you?” Her eyes rake over me, filled with disdain. “Certainly not your intellect or wit, since we’ve yet to see any evidence it exists. And your idea of a love scene? So Disney, so Family Channel, so dreadfully boring. Really, Ever, may I remind you that Damen’s been around for hundreds of years, including the free-love sixties?” She shakes her head at me.
“If you’re looking for Damen, he’s not here,” I finally say, my voice scratchy, hoarse, like it hasn’t been used for days.
She lifts her brow. “Trust me, I know where Damen is. I always know where Damen is. It’s what I do.”
“So you’re a stalker.” I press my lips together, knowing I shouldn’t antagonize her, but hey, I have nothing to lose. Either way, she’s here to kill me.
She twists her lips and holds up her hand, inspecting her perfectly manicured nails. “Hardly,” she mumbles.
“Well, if that’s how you’ve chosen to spend the last three