Every Man for Himself - Beryl Bainbridge [56]
At five o’clock I went in search of Scurra and Rosenfelder. I wanted to tell them what I’d been doing. Scurra, in particular, would surely be pleased at my new-found sense of purpose. In the event, only Rosenfelder was in the smoke-room and he was too selfishly pre-occupied, on account of Adele wearing his gown that evening, to listen. He did, however, inform me that I’d tried to scramble out of the porthole last night when he’d escorted me to my room. ‘That’s all in the past,’ I said, ‘because I know for me my work is best.’ I proved it by drinking nothing but a glass of lemonade. The mood I was in it tasted like champagne.
I did meet Scurra before dinner, on A deck, where I’d gone in hopes of seeing Riley. For some unfathomable reason I needed to make my peace with the young seaman; it irked that he held me in contempt. On Rosenfelder’s behalf, Scurra had been below to visit Adele. ‘He’s anxious to make sure,’ he said, ‘that she intends to keep her promise.’
‘And does she?’
‘Without a doubt. Not a word to Rosenfelder, but I’ve crossed her palm with silver.’ He asked if the steward had returned the painting to me. I thanked him, then blurted out, ‘Mr Andrews wants me to design something for the ship. It’s to do with the writing room. There’s no guarantee that my work will be used, but it’s a start, isn’t it?’
‘It is indeed,’ he said enthusiastically. ‘I’m delighted for you. And if you succeed, which I don’t doubt, you will have killed two birds with one stone.’
‘In what way?’
‘An honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work. You can build your hospitals and schools with untainted money. There is a difference, don’t you agree, when it comes to profit, between Commerce and Art?’ I think he was being sincere.
‘Rosenfelder has equally bright hopes for the future,’ I said. ‘That’s good too, isn’t it?’ It was important he should think I was interested in someone other than myself. He agreed and mentioned that Wallis and her sister Ida had arranged for Adele to change for dinner in their room. Before I could stop myself, I asked, ‘Are you in love with Wallis Ellery?’
He turned to me in astonishment, black eyebrows raised above his spectacles. ‘Love?’ he barked. ‘Good heavens! Love is what women feel.’
Molly Dodge had forgiven Ginsberg; George and he had shaken hands on it. That was the hot news in the lounge before dinner. Kitty Webb told me. Apparently it was only half an apology, because though he’d declared he was sorry for insulting the memory of Molly’s mother, he refused to withdraw one word in regard to the Germans. In fact he’d referred to them as beasts all over again. ‘One has to admire his pig-headedness,’ Kitty said. ‘After all, he’s of German stock himself.’
She asked how I was feeling. Had I got myself together? She didn’t care what people thought about my friends . . . they were just a load of dead beats, but it mattered that I was getting quite a reputation.
‘A reputation for what?’
‘For acting wild. I know you weren’t involved in that scuffle in the dining saloon, but old man Straus was blowing steam over you knocking Mrs Straus down the stairs.’
‘I did no such thing,’ I protested. ‘I merely jogged her arm.’
‘Of course, but these things get worse in the telling. And last night Benny claims you caused such a rumpus in the smoke-room you had to be removed.’
‘I was upset,’ I muttered. ‘Something happened earlier—’
‘It sure did,’ she said. ‘You assaulted Wallis Ellery.’ I was about to sulk when she flashed the smile of an angel and tapped my knee gleefully with her blunt little nails. ‘Serves her right,’ she crowed. ‘I’ve never understood what you boys see in her. She’s flat-chested and she’s a prude.’
‘You’re possibly right,’ I said, though I was only speaking of Wallis’s chest.
‘You’d be far better off making a play for Molly, or even Ida. But then, I shouldn’t think you want to get married.’
‘Not yet,’ I said. ‘Do you?’
‘Not yet,’ she replied evenly, ‘but