Every Man for Himself - Beryl Bainbridge [70]
I was escorting her forward when an officer marched up and demanded I fetch blankets from the store room. Just then the Strauses passed by with their maid. The girl was crying, protesting that she didn’t want to leave them, and they were assuring her that it was for the best and that she must think of her widowed mother. I pressed Mr Straus to look after Adele and he replied it would give him pleasure.
I hadn’t the faintest idea where the store room might be, but remembering the rugs flung to the floor as they utilised the steamer chairs on the enclosed promenade, I hurried below. Securing a hefty pile I was about to return when I glanced through the windows into the smoke-room. It appeared empty save for a circle of men playing cards in front of the fire – but then, one of the players shifted and to my amazement, behind him in the alcove, I saw Wallis sitting with Ginsberg. Dreadfully concerned, I dashed inside.
When she saw me she waved her hand excitedly and cried out, ‘Now we’ll know what’s happening.’
I could tell by their flushed faces that they’d both been drinking. Knowing what I knew about her, I suppose I shouldn’t have been so shocked, but I was. Absurdly, I felt I was to blame in some way. Furiously I turned on Ginsberg and called him a blazing idiot for not taking her up on deck.
‘Steady on,’ he protested. ‘I did try. She wouldn’t have it.’
‘I almost went,’ she said. ‘Earlier, with Molly. I feel rather guilty about it. She was clutching my arm and at the last moment I just twisted away. I couldn’t stand the idea of being cooped up with all those bawling children.’
‘Ida, at least, is safe,’ I said.
‘Safe?’
‘Yes, safe,’ I ground out. ‘The ship is sinking, or hadn’t you heard? She looked all over for you. The door to your room was locked.’
‘I was with Ginsberg,’ she insisted. ‘I can’t think why the door was locked.’
There was the slightest pause, in which she and Ginsberg exchanged glances. Defiantly, she took one of his cigarettes and waited for him to light it. ‘Stay and have a drink,’ she urged. ‘The stewards have all vanished but Ginsberg keeps leaping over the bar.’
‘You needn’t look at me like that, Morgan,’ Ginsberg said. ‘I’ve been scrupulous in leaving money behind. It’s as well to be honest, don’t you think, even if no one will ever know.’
Tearing the cigarette from Wallis’s fingers I crushed it flat in the spittoon.
‘Dear me,’ she cried, ‘you’re as touchy as Ida.’
‘She didn’t want to get into the boat,’ I shouted, ‘not without you. She would have stayed if the officer in charge hadn’t shoved her aboard.’
‘Poor dear Ida,’ Wallis murmured, ‘she’s always responded to shoving,’ at which, exasperated beyond endurance, I left them.
Guggenheim was blocking the gymnasium doorway, peering through the window to watch Kitty Webb walk away. He stepped aside to let me pass and Kitty looked back and called out, ‘Be seeing you, Benny.’ He said, ‘Goodbye, little girl,’ but I doubt if she heard because the door was already closing and the orchestra stood near by. In spite of the cold the cellist wore no gloves and I marvelled that he managed to hold his bow so steady on the strings.
Captain Smith had come down from the bridge and was standing with the quartermaster at the foot of the companionway. They were both staring into the night. I wanted Smith to notice I was being useful, so I approached and handed the rugs to the quartermaster. He took them without comment; Smith’s gaze