Every Man for Himself - Beryl Bainbridge [74]
We walked towards the stern. Midships, another collapsible was edging its way down to the water. It appeared fairly full. As we watched it go a figure climbed on to the rail beneath, stepped out, and sliding rather than leaping landed half over the gunwale. His head was in the water and when they jerked him upright and he fell on his back we saw it was Ginsberg, insensible and still clutching his sticky handkerchief. I guess his fall had knocked the breath out of him. For a moment it crossed my mind that I too mightmake a jump for it, butalready the boat was moving out of the lights. ‘Rats always leave a sinking ship,’ remarked Charlie, and I thought that damned unfair, and stupidly told him so. His eyes filled up with tears. Hopper went over to the officer who had just come down from the davits and asked him what we should do. ‘Pray,’ was the reply.
Now that all the boats had gone, the waiting began. We went inside to search for something that we might cling to in the water. This was Hopper’s idea. It was ten minutes to two by the clock on the Grand Staircase and we marvelled that time had crept so slowly, for it seemed we had lived a life-time in the space of an hour.
The card players had remained stoically at their table in the smoke-room. Hopper asked one of them for a cigarette and was told there were hundreds in the bar and all free. He came back with the ornamental lifebuoy that had hung on the wall above the spirits shelf. He tried to put it on but it wouldn’t go further than his shoulders, which pinned his arms to his sides so that he couldn’t get it off again. In spite of everything, this made me laugh out loud, at which the card players had the cheek to tick me off for being rowdy.
Then I remembered Rosenfelder telling me that they sold souvenirs of the voyage in the barber’s shop on C deck. He’d bought a shaving brush with the White Star flag enamelled on the handle. I’d asked him, thinking of Sissy’s baby, if they had anything suitable for small children, and he’d said he’d seen teddy bears and inflatable rings for sea-side excursions. I suggested to Charlie that he come with me but he turned pale at the idea of going so far below. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I can’t help being a coward.’ I didn’t show it, but I lost patience with him. After all, most of us are cowards, but it’s simply not on to shout it from the roof-tops.
It was eerie passing down through the ship. There was no one about, and still all the lights blazed. I didn’t use the elevator for fear there was a sudden stagger and I got trapped. The tilt was pronounced now and I walked along the corridors with my hands braced on either side of the walls. When I came to the barber’s shop the door was swinging inwards on its hinges. Riley sat in one of the swivel chairs, combing his hair in the mirror. He grinned when he saw me, and spun himself round and round. ‘Try it,’ he said. ‘It’s a good lark.’ I took the chair next to him and we both whirled. Truly, I felt very much at ease.
‘What are you after down here?’ he said. ‘Did you think you needed a shave?’
‘I was looking for something to hold on to . . . when we hit the water.’
‘Get away with you,’ he scoffed. ‘You’ll have her whole bloody innards to choose from once she starts to plunge.’ My eyes must have held a shadow of alarm, for he added, ‘She won’t go just yet, take it from me. Maybe half an hour, longer if we’re lucky.’
‘Had it anything to do with the fire?’ I asked. ‘The one in the bunker.’
‘Doubt it,’ he said. ‘We was just going too fast and not heeding the ice warnings.’
‘Is the Carpathia really on its way?’
‘So the Marconi fellow has it. But she won’t get to us till the morning.’
‘It is the morning.’
‘Proper morning,’ he said. ‘Brekky time.’ He stopped spinning and began to unscrew the stoppers of the bottles above the basin, sniffing the contents in turn. When the smell didn’t meet with his approval he emptied the liquid down the plug hole. An aroma of scented soap hung in the air. Reflected in the mirror a