Every Man in his Humour [22]
thousand crowns.
BIA. What ail you, sweet-heart? are you not well? speak, good Muss.
THO. Troth, my head aches extremely on a sudden.
BIA. Oh Jesu!
THO. How now! what!
BIA. Good Lord, how it burns! Muss, keep you warm; good truth, it is this new disease, there's a number are troubled withall for God's sake, sweet-heart, come in out of the air.
THO. How simple, and how subtle are her answers! A new disease, and many troubled with it. Why true, she heard me all the world to nothing.
BIA. I pray thee, good sweet-heart, come in; the air will do you harm, in troth.
THO. I'll come to you presently, it will away, I hope.
BIA. Pray God it do. [EXIT.
THO. A new disease! I know not, new or old, But it may well be call'd poor mortals' Plague; For like a pestilence it doth infect The houses of the brain: first it begins Solely to work upon the phantasy, Filling her seat with such pestiferous air, As soon corrupts the judgment, and from thence, Sends like contagion to the memory, Still each of other catching the infection, Which as a searching vapour spreads itself Confusedly through every sensive part, Till not a thought or motion in the mind Be free from the black poison of suspect. Ah, but what error is it to know this, And want the free election of the soul In such extremes! well, I will once more strive (Even in despite of hell) myself to be, And shake this fever off that thus shakes me. [EXIT.
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ACT II
SCENE I. -- ENTER MUSCO, DISGUISED LIKE A SOLDIER.
MUS. 'Sblood, I cannot choose but laugh to see myself translated thus, from a poor creature to a creator; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies, or else my profession loses his grace, and yet the lie to a man of my coat is as ominous as the Fico, oh sir, it holds for good policy to have that outwardly in vilest estimation, that inwardly is most dear to us: So much for my borrowed shape. Well, the troth is, my master intends to follow his son dry-foot to Florence, this morning: now I, knowing of this conspiracy, and the rather to insinuate with my young master, (for so must we that are blue waiters, or men of service do, or else perhaps we may wear motley at the year's end, and who wears motley you know:) I have got me afore in this disguise, determining here to lie in ambuscado, and intercept him in the midway; if I can but get his cloak, his purse, his hat, nay, anything so I can stay his journey, 'Rex Regum', I am made for ever, i'faith: well, now must I practise to get the true garb of one of these 'Lance-knights; my arm here, and my -- God's so, young master and his cousin.
LOR. JU. So, sir, and how then?
[ENTER LOR. JU. AND STEP.
STEP. God's foot, I have lost my purse, I think.
LOR. JU. How? lost your purse? where? when had you it?
STEP. I cannot tell, stay.
MUS. 'Slid, I am afraid they will know me, would I could get by them.
LOR. JU. What! have you it?
STEP. No, I think I was bewitched, I.
LOR. JU. Nay, do not weep, a pox on it, hang it, let it go.
STEP. Oh, it's here; nay, an it had been lost, I had not cared but for a jet ring Marina sent me.
LOR. JU. A jet ring! oh, the poesie, the poesie!
STEP. Fine, i'faith: "Though fancy sleep, my love is deep": meaning that though I did not fancy her, yet she loved me dearly.
LOR. JU. Most excellent.
STEP. And then I sent her another, and my poesie was: "The deeper the sweeter, I'll be judged by Saint Peter".
LOR. JU. How, by St. Peter? I do not conceive that.
STEP. Marry, St. Peter to make up the metre.
LOR JU. Well, you are beholding to that Saint, he help'd you at your need; thank him, thank him.
MUS. I will venture, come what will: Gentlemen, please you change a few crowns for a very excellent good blade here; I am a poor gentleman, a soldier, one that (in the better state of my fortunes) scorned so mean a refuge, but now it's the humour of necessity to have it so: you seem to be, gentlemen, well affected to martial men, else
BIA. What ail you, sweet-heart? are you not well? speak, good Muss.
THO. Troth, my head aches extremely on a sudden.
BIA. Oh Jesu!
THO. How now! what!
BIA. Good Lord, how it burns! Muss, keep you warm; good truth, it is this new disease, there's a number are troubled withall for God's sake, sweet-heart, come in out of the air.
THO. How simple, and how subtle are her answers! A new disease, and many troubled with it. Why true, she heard me all the world to nothing.
BIA. I pray thee, good sweet-heart, come in; the air will do you harm, in troth.
THO. I'll come to you presently, it will away, I hope.
BIA. Pray God it do. [EXIT.
THO. A new disease! I know not, new or old, But it may well be call'd poor mortals' Plague; For like a pestilence it doth infect The houses of the brain: first it begins Solely to work upon the phantasy, Filling her seat with such pestiferous air, As soon corrupts the judgment, and from thence, Sends like contagion to the memory, Still each of other catching the infection, Which as a searching vapour spreads itself Confusedly through every sensive part, Till not a thought or motion in the mind Be free from the black poison of suspect. Ah, but what error is it to know this, And want the free election of the soul In such extremes! well, I will once more strive (Even in despite of hell) myself to be, And shake this fever off that thus shakes me. [EXIT.
----------------------------------------------
ACT II
SCENE I. -- ENTER MUSCO, DISGUISED LIKE A SOLDIER.
MUS. 'Sblood, I cannot choose but laugh to see myself translated thus, from a poor creature to a creator; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies, or else my profession loses his grace, and yet the lie to a man of my coat is as ominous as the Fico, oh sir, it holds for good policy to have that outwardly in vilest estimation, that inwardly is most dear to us: So much for my borrowed shape. Well, the troth is, my master intends to follow his son dry-foot to Florence, this morning: now I, knowing of this conspiracy, and the rather to insinuate with my young master, (for so must we that are blue waiters, or men of service do, or else perhaps we may wear motley at the year's end, and who wears motley you know:) I have got me afore in this disguise, determining here to lie in ambuscado, and intercept him in the midway; if I can but get his cloak, his purse, his hat, nay, anything so I can stay his journey, 'Rex Regum', I am made for ever, i'faith: well, now must I practise to get the true garb of one of these 'Lance-knights; my arm here, and my -- God's so, young master and his cousin.
LOR. JU. So, sir, and how then?
[ENTER LOR. JU. AND STEP.
STEP. God's foot, I have lost my purse, I think.
LOR. JU. How? lost your purse? where? when had you it?
STEP. I cannot tell, stay.
MUS. 'Slid, I am afraid they will know me, would I could get by them.
LOR. JU. What! have you it?
STEP. No, I think I was bewitched, I.
LOR. JU. Nay, do not weep, a pox on it, hang it, let it go.
STEP. Oh, it's here; nay, an it had been lost, I had not cared but for a jet ring Marina sent me.
LOR. JU. A jet ring! oh, the poesie, the poesie!
STEP. Fine, i'faith: "Though fancy sleep, my love is deep": meaning that though I did not fancy her, yet she loved me dearly.
LOR. JU. Most excellent.
STEP. And then I sent her another, and my poesie was: "The deeper the sweeter, I'll be judged by Saint Peter".
LOR. JU. How, by St. Peter? I do not conceive that.
STEP. Marry, St. Peter to make up the metre.
LOR JU. Well, you are beholding to that Saint, he help'd you at your need; thank him, thank him.
MUS. I will venture, come what will: Gentlemen, please you change a few crowns for a very excellent good blade here; I am a poor gentleman, a soldier, one that (in the better state of my fortunes) scorned so mean a refuge, but now it's the humour of necessity to have it so: you seem to be, gentlemen, well affected to martial men, else