Every Man in his Humour [38]
for them, and yet I hold it good policy not to go disarm'd, for though I be skilful, I may be suppressed with multitudes.
LOR. JU. Ay, by Jesu, may you, sir, and (in my conceit) our whole nation should sustain the loss by it, if it were so.
BOB. Alas, no: what's a peculiar man to a nation? not seen.
LOR. JU. Ay, but your skill, sir.
BOB. Indeed, that might be some loss, but who respects it? I will tell you, Signior, (in private) I am a gentleman, and live here obscure, and to myself; but were I known to the Duke (observe me) I would undertake (upon my head and life) for the public benefit of the state, not only to spare the entire lives of his subjects in general, but to save the one half, nay, three parts of his yearly charges, in holding wars generally against all his enemies; and how will I do it, think you?
LOR. JU. Nay, I know not, nor can I conceive.
BOB. Marry, thus, I would select nineteen more to myself, throughout the land, gentlemen they should be of good spirit; strong and able constitution, I would choose them by an instinct, a trick that I have, and I would teach these nineteen the special tricks, as your punto, your reverso, your stoccato, your imbroccato, your passado, your montanto, till they could all play very near or altogether as well as myself. This done, say the enemy were forty thousand strong: we twenty would come into the field the tenth of March, or thereabouts, and would challenge twenty of the enemy; they could not in their honour refuse the combat: well, we would kill them: challenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them too; and thus would we kill every man his twenty a day, that's twenty score; twenty score, that's two hundred; two hundred a day, five days a thousand: forty thousand; forty times five, five times forty, two hundred days kills them all, by computation, and this will I venture my life to perform: provided there be no treason practised upon us.
LOR. JU. Why, are you so sure of your hand at all times?
BOB. Tut, never mistrust, upon my soul.
LOR. JU. Mass, I would not stand in Signior Giuliano's state, then, an you meet him, for the wealth of Florence.
BOB. Why Signior, by Jesu, if he were here now, I would not draw my weapon on him, let this gentleman do his mind, but I will bastinado him (by heaven) an ever I meet him.
[ENTER GIULIANO AND GOES OUT AGAIN.
MAT. Faith, and I'll have a fling at him.
LOR. JU. Look, yonder he goes, I think.
GIU. 'Sblood, what luck have I, I cannot meet with these bragging rascals.
BOB. It's not he: is it?
LOR. JU. Yes, faith, it is he.
MAT. I'll be hang'd then if that were he.
LOR. JU. Before God, it was he: you make me swear.
STEP. Upon my salvation, it was he.
BOB. Well, had I though it had been he, he could not have gone so, but I cannot be induced to believe it was he yet.
[ENTER GIU. GIU. Oh, gallant, have I found you? draw to your tools; draw, or by God's will I'll thrash you.
BOB. Signior, hear me.
GIU. Draw your weapons then.
BOB. Signior, I never thought it till now: body of St. George, I have a warrant of the peace served on me even now, as I came along, by a water-bearer, this gentleman saw it, Signior Matheo.
GIU. The peace! 'Sblood, you will not draw?
[MATHEO RUNS AWAY. HE BEATS HIM AND DISARMS HIM.
LOR. JU. Hold, Signior, hold, under thy favour forbear.
GIU. Prate again as you like this, you whoreson cowardly rascal, you'll control the point, you? your consort he is gone; had he staid he had shared with you, in faith. [EXIT GIULIANO.
BOB. Well, gentlemen, bear witness, I was bound to the peace, by Jesu.
LOR. JU. Why, and though you were, sir, the law allows you to defend yourself; that's but a poor excuse.
BOB. I cannot tell; I never sustained the like disgrace (by heaven); sure I was struck with a planet then, for I had no power to touch my weapon. [EXIT.
LOR. JU. Ay, like enough; I have heard of many that have been beaten under a planet; go, get you to the surgeon's,
LOR. JU. Ay, by Jesu, may you, sir, and (in my conceit) our whole nation should sustain the loss by it, if it were so.
BOB. Alas, no: what's a peculiar man to a nation? not seen.
LOR. JU. Ay, but your skill, sir.
BOB. Indeed, that might be some loss, but who respects it? I will tell you, Signior, (in private) I am a gentleman, and live here obscure, and to myself; but were I known to the Duke (observe me) I would undertake (upon my head and life) for the public benefit of the state, not only to spare the entire lives of his subjects in general, but to save the one half, nay, three parts of his yearly charges, in holding wars generally against all his enemies; and how will I do it, think you?
LOR. JU. Nay, I know not, nor can I conceive.
BOB. Marry, thus, I would select nineteen more to myself, throughout the land, gentlemen they should be of good spirit; strong and able constitution, I would choose them by an instinct, a trick that I have, and I would teach these nineteen the special tricks, as your punto, your reverso, your stoccato, your imbroccato, your passado, your montanto, till they could all play very near or altogether as well as myself. This done, say the enemy were forty thousand strong: we twenty would come into the field the tenth of March, or thereabouts, and would challenge twenty of the enemy; they could not in their honour refuse the combat: well, we would kill them: challenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them too; and thus would we kill every man his twenty a day, that's twenty score; twenty score, that's two hundred; two hundred a day, five days a thousand: forty thousand; forty times five, five times forty, two hundred days kills them all, by computation, and this will I venture my life to perform: provided there be no treason practised upon us.
LOR. JU. Why, are you so sure of your hand at all times?
BOB. Tut, never mistrust, upon my soul.
LOR. JU. Mass, I would not stand in Signior Giuliano's state, then, an you meet him, for the wealth of Florence.
BOB. Why Signior, by Jesu, if he were here now, I would not draw my weapon on him, let this gentleman do his mind, but I will bastinado him (by heaven) an ever I meet him.
[ENTER GIULIANO AND GOES OUT AGAIN.
MAT. Faith, and I'll have a fling at him.
LOR. JU. Look, yonder he goes, I think.
GIU. 'Sblood, what luck have I, I cannot meet with these bragging rascals.
BOB. It's not he: is it?
LOR. JU. Yes, faith, it is he.
MAT. I'll be hang'd then if that were he.
LOR. JU. Before God, it was he: you make me swear.
STEP. Upon my salvation, it was he.
BOB. Well, had I though it had been he, he could not have gone so, but I cannot be induced to believe it was he yet.
[ENTER GIU. GIU. Oh, gallant, have I found you? draw to your tools; draw, or by God's will I'll thrash you.
BOB. Signior, hear me.
GIU. Draw your weapons then.
BOB. Signior, I never thought it till now: body of St. George, I have a warrant of the peace served on me even now, as I came along, by a water-bearer, this gentleman saw it, Signior Matheo.
GIU. The peace! 'Sblood, you will not draw?
[MATHEO RUNS AWAY. HE BEATS HIM AND DISARMS HIM.
LOR. JU. Hold, Signior, hold, under thy favour forbear.
GIU. Prate again as you like this, you whoreson cowardly rascal, you'll control the point, you? your consort he is gone; had he staid he had shared with you, in faith. [EXIT GIULIANO.
BOB. Well, gentlemen, bear witness, I was bound to the peace, by Jesu.
LOR. JU. Why, and though you were, sir, the law allows you to defend yourself; that's but a poor excuse.
BOB. I cannot tell; I never sustained the like disgrace (by heaven); sure I was struck with a planet then, for I had no power to touch my weapon. [EXIT.
LOR. JU. Ay, like enough; I have heard of many that have been beaten under a planet; go, get you to the surgeon's,