Every Man in his Humour [45]
cut off your legs, I say.
MUS. Oh, good sir, I beseech you, nay, good master Doctor. Oh, good sir.
CLEM. I must do it; there is no remedy; I must cut off your legs, sirrah. I must cut off your ears, you rascal, I must do it; I must cut off your nose, I must cut off your head.
MUS. Oh, for God's sake, good master Doctor.
CLEM. Well, rise; how dost thou now? dost thou feel thyself well? hast thou no harm?
MUS. No, I thank God, sir, and your good worship.
CLEM. Why so? I said I must cut off thy legs, and I must cut off thy arms, and I must cut off thy head; but I did not do it so: you said you must arrest this gentleman, but you did not arrest him, you knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must arrest, sirrah? away with him to the jail, I'll teach you a trick for your must.
MUS. Good master Doctor, I beseech you be good to me.
CLEM. Marry o'God: away with him, I say.
MUS. Nay, 'sblood, before I go to prison, I'll put on my old brazen face, and disclaim in my vocation: I'll discover, that's flat, an I be committed, it shall be for the committing of more villainies than this, hang me an I lose the least grain of my fame.
CLEM. Why? when, knave? by God's marry, I'll clap thee by the heels too.
MUS. Hold, hold, I pray you.
CLEM. What's the matter? Stay there.
MUS. Faith, sir, afore I go to this house of bondage, I have a case to unfold to your worship: which (that it may appear more plain unto your worship's view) I do thus first of all uncase, and appear in mine own proper nature, servant to this gentleman: and known by the name of Musco.
LOR. SE. Ha, Musco!
STEP. Oh, uncle, Musco has been with my cousin and I all this day.
CLEM. Did not I tell you there was some device?
MUS. Nay, good master Doctor, since I have laid myself thus open to your worship, now stand strong for me, till the progress of my tale be ended, and then if my wit do not deserve your countenance, 'slight, throw it on a dog, and let me go hang myself.
CLEM. Body of me, a merry knave, give me a bowl of sack. Signior Lorenzo, I bespeak your patience in particular, marry, your ears in general, here, knave, Doctor Clement drinks to thee.
MUS. I pledge master Doctor an't were a sea to the bottom.
CLEM. Fill his bowl for that, fill his bowl: so, now speak freely.
MUS. Indeed, this is it will make a man speak freely. But to the point, know then that I, Musco, (being somewhat more trusted of my master than reason required, and knowing his intent to Florence,) did assume the habit of a poor soldier in wants, and minding by some means to intercept his journey in the midway, 'twixt the grange and the city, I encountered him, where begging of him in the most accomplished and true garb, (as they term it) contrary to all expectation, he reclaimed me from that bad course of life; entertained me into his service, employed me in his business, possest me with his secrets, which I no sooner had received, but (seeking my young master, and finding him at this gentleman's house) I revealed all most amply: this done, by the device of Signior Prospero and him together, I returned (as the raven did to the ark) to mine old master again, told him he should find his son in what manner he knows, at one Cob's house, where indeed he never meant to come; now my master, he to maintain the jest, went thither, and left me with your worship's clerk, who, being of a most fine supple disposition, (as most of your clerks are) proffers me the wine, which I had the grace to accept very easily, and to the tavern we went: there after much ceremony, I made him drunk in kindness, stript him to his shirt, and leaving him in that cool vein, departed, frolick, courtier-like, having obtained a suit: which suit fitting me exceedingly well, I put on, and usurping your man's phrase and action, carried a message to Signior Thorello in your name; which message was merely devised but to procure his absence, while Signior Prospero might make a conveyance of Hesperida to my master.
CLEM. Stay, fill me the
MUS. Oh, good sir, I beseech you, nay, good master Doctor. Oh, good sir.
CLEM. I must do it; there is no remedy; I must cut off your legs, sirrah. I must cut off your ears, you rascal, I must do it; I must cut off your nose, I must cut off your head.
MUS. Oh, for God's sake, good master Doctor.
CLEM. Well, rise; how dost thou now? dost thou feel thyself well? hast thou no harm?
MUS. No, I thank God, sir, and your good worship.
CLEM. Why so? I said I must cut off thy legs, and I must cut off thy arms, and I must cut off thy head; but I did not do it so: you said you must arrest this gentleman, but you did not arrest him, you knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must arrest, sirrah? away with him to the jail, I'll teach you a trick for your must.
MUS. Good master Doctor, I beseech you be good to me.
CLEM. Marry o'God: away with him, I say.
MUS. Nay, 'sblood, before I go to prison, I'll put on my old brazen face, and disclaim in my vocation: I'll discover, that's flat, an I be committed, it shall be for the committing of more villainies than this, hang me an I lose the least grain of my fame.
CLEM. Why? when, knave? by God's marry, I'll clap thee by the heels too.
MUS. Hold, hold, I pray you.
CLEM. What's the matter? Stay there.
MUS. Faith, sir, afore I go to this house of bondage, I have a case to unfold to your worship: which (that it may appear more plain unto your worship's view) I do thus first of all uncase, and appear in mine own proper nature, servant to this gentleman: and known by the name of Musco.
LOR. SE. Ha, Musco!
STEP. Oh, uncle, Musco has been with my cousin and I all this day.
CLEM. Did not I tell you there was some device?
MUS. Nay, good master Doctor, since I have laid myself thus open to your worship, now stand strong for me, till the progress of my tale be ended, and then if my wit do not deserve your countenance, 'slight, throw it on a dog, and let me go hang myself.
CLEM. Body of me, a merry knave, give me a bowl of sack. Signior Lorenzo, I bespeak your patience in particular, marry, your ears in general, here, knave, Doctor Clement drinks to thee.
MUS. I pledge master Doctor an't were a sea to the bottom.
CLEM. Fill his bowl for that, fill his bowl: so, now speak freely.
MUS. Indeed, this is it will make a man speak freely. But to the point, know then that I, Musco, (being somewhat more trusted of my master than reason required, and knowing his intent to Florence,) did assume the habit of a poor soldier in wants, and minding by some means to intercept his journey in the midway, 'twixt the grange and the city, I encountered him, where begging of him in the most accomplished and true garb, (as they term it) contrary to all expectation, he reclaimed me from that bad course of life; entertained me into his service, employed me in his business, possest me with his secrets, which I no sooner had received, but (seeking my young master, and finding him at this gentleman's house) I revealed all most amply: this done, by the device of Signior Prospero and him together, I returned (as the raven did to the ark) to mine old master again, told him he should find his son in what manner he knows, at one Cob's house, where indeed he never meant to come; now my master, he to maintain the jest, went thither, and left me with your worship's clerk, who, being of a most fine supple disposition, (as most of your clerks are) proffers me the wine, which I had the grace to accept very easily, and to the tavern we went: there after much ceremony, I made him drunk in kindness, stript him to his shirt, and leaving him in that cool vein, departed, frolick, courtier-like, having obtained a suit: which suit fitting me exceedingly well, I put on, and usurping your man's phrase and action, carried a message to Signior Thorello in your name; which message was merely devised but to procure his absence, while Signior Prospero might make a conveyance of Hesperida to my master.
CLEM. Stay, fill me the