Everybody Loves Our Town_ An Oral History of Grunge - Mark Yarm [214]
AARON STAUFFER And here’s the tragedy of that show: The minute the last note finished ringing out, all the record company suits jump on Kurt like fuckin’ flies on shit. I couldn’t hear them, but I knew what they were saying: “Is this okay? Are we going to do another song?” And my heart just sank for the guy. He’s just put on one of the best performances I’ve ever seen—and I’ve been to thousands of rock shows—and now he has to deal with these fuckin’ leeches making sure that they don’t need to shoot some more, because their mouths are so wrapped around MTV’s cock.
ALEX COLETTI At the end, I asked them, “Is there anything else you wanna try? We don’t have to use it.” I didn’t even dare suggest “Teen Spirit.” And Krist and Dave were kinda brainstorming, and Kurt just looked at me and said, “How do I top that last song?” I remember reaching to my headset and going, “That’s a wrap. We’re done.”
AMY FINNERTY At the end of it, we went back to the hotel, and Kurt said to me, “I didn’t do very good.” I said, “What are you talking about? That was a historical moment, that was a really incredible performance. Why do you feel like you didn’t do very good?”
He said, “Because everybody was so quiet, nobody really clapped that loud and they just kind of sat there.” I said something to the effect of, “People felt like they were seeing Jesus Christ for the first time. It was intense for people. They were trying to be respectful by being quiet and just letting you do your thing.” And then he kind of got a little smirk on his face and said, “Thank you.”
ALICE WHEELER I was with Kurt one time at this show, MTV’s Live & Loud, and all these record people were around. Their eyes looked different—they had this coldness, like they’re out to take advantage of you.
TOM HANSEN Right before the Live & Loud show in Seattle, I sold to Kurt and Dylan. We were in my Camaro, under the Alaskan Way Viaduct. We had a conversation in the car where Kurt said he was disgusted with the rock-star treatment he had gotten when he came to New York for the Saturday Night Live thing. He just went on a bit of a rant, if I remember correctly. The only verbatim thing that I remember was, “Those fuckers in New York, man.”
COURTNEY LOVE Dylan and Lanegan were pretty much the only friends Kurt had. He really didn’t have any friends. He liked the dealers, which was gross. He liked being isolated.
I have this thing, me and my manager call it the Rocket. It’s what happened to Kurt, it’s what happened to me. It’s what happened to Eminem. It’s what happened to Britney Spears. Instead of just going up in steps—you’re an apprentice with a mentor, you learn your craft, you go up to the next level and the next level—you disappear into the Rocket. You have to fight centrifugal force. Who’s our friend? Who’s not our friend? Who do we fire? What do we do? What’s gross? What’s not?
CHARLES PETERSON Courtney and I had exchanged phone numbers at one point. She actually wanted me to go hang out with Kurt, because he didn’t have any friends. It’s like, Well, of course, because he’s a junkie. It’s really hard to hang out with a junkie.
No, unfortunately, it never happened. I went to Frances’s one-year birthday party, things like that. But you go over to a junkie’s house, and the TV is always on, and every hour or two they’re taking extra-long bathroom breaks, there’s always people coming and going. Junkies build little junkie worlds.
I’d already been through that with a relationship. Seeing my friends always near death … It’s tough. Tough. In retrospect, I think, Man, I should’ve just done it.
SLIM MOON Courtney hated me, she hated Tobi Vail, hated Riot Grrrl, hated Olympia, hated Mary Lou Lord. And I put out Tobi’s and Mary Lou Lord’s records. One time, Courtney called me at 1 in the morning, and told me, “You’re all right, you’re all right. You’re a Libra. You’re just misguided because you’ve been taken down a bad road