Everybody Loves Our Town_ An Oral History of Grunge - Mark Yarm [254]
So the compromise was, okay, he’ll take his shirt off, but only in the context that he’s just brutally raped and murdered his girlfriend in the video. It got filmed, and then they cut that part. They refused to show the video in the U.S., except when MTV had the show where they’d air the weird videos once a month or whatever.
MATT CAMERON I think we were yearning to be a smaller band or just a band that was completely about the music. I know that’s completely cliché and hokey, but success can really tear the good times apart. I think it manifested itself in the touring that we did for Down on the Upside. Sometimes there was a disconnect between us and the audience. I got the impression that sometimes it felt like a chore for Ben or Kim to be up there. There was some infighting, and it wasn’t a good feeling overall.
SUSAN SILVER The bigger the band got, the bigger everybody’s tendencies got. Matt took on more and more of a leadership role; Chris became more and more withdrawn. Kim’s a peacemaker—he wanted everything to be good with everybody—but all the responsibilities of the business and touring seemed to overshadow his availability towards playing, so it seemed like he was having less fun.
Ben always had his wild-card moments, but at that point they tended to be more explosive, more dangerous sometimes. He was hostile towards the audience. “How dare you like me?” was the energy that he put back towards people. If they were being too overly appreciative, he’d find a way to spit on ’em.
SOOZY BRIDGES In February of ’97, Susan gifted us all—family and people close to her—tickets to come to Hawaii and see Soundgarden play the last show of their tour. At the show, Chris was amazing; his voice was really on top.
CHRIS CORNELL The bass rig wasn’t working in sound check, and I remember thinking, Oh, that’s not a good sign. It was a mystery why it stopped, but it was one of those things where they got it working now so it will be okay. What inevitably happens is when you start playing, whatever the mystery was will show up again.
BEN SHEPHERD My fuckin’ gear was dead. I’m not going to stand up there like some dumbass monkey and pantomime the songs. Let them finish the fuckin’ set. I remember smashing my bass on the stage and seeing everyone else there gasp, and my daughter, who was nine years old then, was standing there laughing. She was having the time of her life.
I go backstage and Kim goes back there with me. I’m like, “Kim, you’ve worked really hard. You got to go back out there and finish this show, man.” Susan tried to interrupt us at one point, and I slammed the door and said, “Get the fuck out of here! This is between us. This is band talk.”
SUSAN SILVER Everybody walked offstage and into the dressing room, and I’m following them in there. And as Ben got in the dressing room, he spun around and we were staring in each other’s face, in a dead eye lock, and he had his fist up in a punching position. We stared at each other for a good 30 seconds and I turned around and walked out.
BEN SHEPHERD I finally told Kim, “I’ll go with you back out there.” He walks back up to the stage, and I didn’t. I totally tricked him. Because he was so loyal to me—I’m his brother—unless I tricked him, he wouldn’t have gone back out there and finished.
SUSAN SILVER Kim was extremely upset and thrown off by the whole thing, and I went to Matt and Chris and said, “Two choices: Stop it now or you guys can go back up there and perform.” By that time, Ben was gone. Matt and Chris went back up there and performed a few acoustic songs; I don’t think Kim went back out.
KIM THAYIL It was nothing that unusual. We had live performances that would sometimes end in tantrums or breakdowns. Sometimes it was Ben and at times