Executioner's Song, The - Norman Mailer [307]
DO YOU RECALL ANY FILMS OR NEWS REELS IN WHICH YOU'VE SEEN MEN DIE BEFORE A FIRING SQUAD?
Private Slovak—
Sure said a lot of Hail Marys, didn't he?
IF YOU HAD A CHOICE, WOULD YOUR EXECUTION BE ON TELEVISION?
No.
Too macabre.
Would you like your death televised?
At the same time, I really don't give a shit.
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU AFTER DEATH?
I could speculate, but I don't know-if the knowledge of death is within me, as I believe it is, I can't consciously bring it to the surface.
I just think it will be familiar . . . I must keep my mind singular and strong-In death you can choose in a way that you can't choose in life. The biggest mistake you could make when you die is to be afraid.
DO YOU FEAR WHAT A REINCARNATED BENNY BUSHNELL MAY DO TO YOU?
I have pondered that-But I don't fear it. Fuck fear. I may meet Bushnell if I do, I will never avoid him. I recognize his rights.
WHY DID YOU KILL, AND COULD YOU HAVE STOPPED YOURSELF FROM KILLING IF YOU WANTED?
I never felt so terrible as I did in that week before I was arrested.
l had lost Nicole. It hurt so fucking bad that it was becoming physical-I mean I couldn't hardly walk, I couldn't sleep I didn't hardly eat. I couldn't drown it. Booze didn't even dull it. A heavy hurt and loss. It got worse every day. I could feel it in my heart . . . I could feel the ache in my bones. I had to go on automatic to get thru the day.
And it grew into a calm rage.
And I opened the gate and let it out.
But it wasn't enough.
It would have gone on and on.
More Jenkins, more Bushnells.
Lord . . .
It didn't make any sense—
Gary said over the phone to Vern, "Some of this is getting too damned personal."
Vern replied, "If you don't want to answer, just tell him. He's not going to twist your arm."
"Yeah, I know," Gary said, "but I still don't like the questions."
"Say," said Stanger, reading the replies. "It's Jensen, not Jenkins."
"Did I say Jenkins? Dammit," said Gary, "I hate getting his name wrong."
"That's fantastic stuff," said Stanger when he brought the answers to Schiller. "Don't you think?"
"I'm not so sure," said Schiller. "He's still giving it off the top."
The last answer had been interesting, but many of the others were flat.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GOT YOUR SENTENCE? WAS IT FAIR?
I probably felt less than anyone in the courtroom.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Slightly less than bland.
YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT?
He had not answered that one. Blank space was there to look back at Schiller. Gilmore was still selling himself as a tough con, heartless, no weakness. Shooting down targets. Schiller wanted to get beyond these cold con answers. It wasn't much warmth to find in a man on his birthday.
DESERET NEWS
Utah Slayer, Now 36, Still Wants to Die
Point of the Mountain, Dec. 4-Condemned killer, Gary Mark Gilmore, still professing his wish to die, observed his 36th birthday in the Utah State Prison today.
Gibbs got Big Jake to buy him a card, and sent it to Gary. It read, "I hope you have many more happy birthdays." He knew that would hit Gary's funny bone.
Brenda and Johnny had a birthday visit on the phone. "Hey, cousin," she said, "did you know that you are the most notorious convict in the United States? That's what they said about you last night." He answered in a strained little voice, "I would much rather be acclaimed on my art ability and my intelligence." It was his hungry stomach speaking. He sounded like an empty eggshell. "I don't appreciate this kind of publicity," he complained.
Brenda said to herself, "Maybe Gary don't like the publicity, but he's sure enjoying it."
Gary had given Vern a list of names and the amount of money he wanted each person to receive. Brenda was to get $5,000, and Toni $3,000. Gary also gave $5,000 to Sterling and Ruth Ann. Wanted to give $3,000 to the babysitter Laurel and her family, but Vern gave an argument about that.
Then Gary talked about a couple of girls in Hawaii who had been writing him love letters.