Executioner's Song, The - Norman Mailer [60]
She told herself that if she was going to mellow him out, she'd have to calm herself. There had been other times, after all, when he blew out of the house and sat in the car. Usually when the kids' noise was drilling him. She knew from what he told her that the level of noise in prison was always high, and his ears were oversensitive. Somehow with all the years he had put in, he could never get used to the sound.
Now she managed to get the kids together, gave them warm milk, tucked them in, and went out to his Mustang. He was sitting behind the wheel silent as stone. She did not talk for ten minutes. Then she slipped a hand over.
Once in a while, Gary would talk about a dream. On this night, sitting in the car, he spoke of it again. He believed that once, in another life, he had been executed. Had his head chopped off.
In the dream, there was something about Oldness. Something ugly, old and moldy. As he talked, she had a chill. She was thinking of how he would wake up often in a real cold sweat. Once he had talked about another dream where he was put in a box, then put into a hole in the wall. It had a door like an oven.
On the next weekend, Gary ran into Vern. They stared at each other. Good Lord, Vern said to himself, he is giving me one dirty look. "Don't think I'm much of a man, do you?" Gary asked him.
"Maybe I don't," Vern said and turned and left. Afterward, he felt bad.
Same day, while Toni was visiting Brenda, Gary dropped by. Toni certainly didn't know what to say. She wasn't about to accuse Gary-the poor guy had been accused of enough things in his life. On the other hand, she didn't think it was right to let it all go unspoken. Annette was a beautiful young lady and Gary could have had intentions.
She went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and Gary chose to come out of the bathroom then. They were obliged to each other.
Gary said, "Toni, you haven't mentioned this thing with Annette." She answered, "Gary, if there's something to say, I'll say it." He took hold of her hand and said, "Hon, I'd never hurt your family." There was a silence. Toni believed him. That is, she believed she could accept what he said. Still, she also felt she wasn't going to let Annette be alone with him. There was always the other possibility. "Gary, I go along with you," she answered at last, "but, just not her, I'm a mother first." He smiled and said, "If you weren't, I'd be disappointed in you." He gave her a kiss on the cheek, and went back to the front room.
Brenda tried to amuse Gary by telling a story about Val. In the old days when Val had the Lincoln-Mercury he always acted like a big shot at the Riverside Country Club. The type to snap his fingers at the waitresses. Brenda was working his table once and thought Val kind of brusque, so she said, "How'd like me to drop this soup on your head?"
"How'd you like me," Val answered, "to get you fired for that remark?"
"I'd tell my boss you were lying," she said.
Gary laughed. He hugged her and lifted her up in the air with no trouble. Considering that she was 155 pounds at that point in her life, he was awfully strong. How had he ever lost the fight to Pete?
Gary must have been sitting in her brain. "Brenda," he said, "it's not through yet. In prison you don't leave things like that undone."
4
The following Saturday, Gary and Nicole still planned to take a trip the canyons, but now both Mustangs were giving them trouble. It made Nicole wonder about their luck. All last week, Gary's car had been dead every morning in a row. Having to get it pushed made him late for work. On this Saturday he even decided to visit Spencer McGrath, who might know what was wrong.
Spencer said right off he probably needed a battery. "There's nothing wrong with the old one," Gary told him.
Spencer said, "How do you know?" Gary said, "Well, it looks all right." Spencer laughed, "You can't tell by looking."
Spence went over to the shop, got a