Executioner's Song, The - Norman Mailer [76]
April would say she wanted to go out. He'd say, "Did you clean your room?" "Yes." "Okay, go ahead." But when he got around looking, she hadn't done a thing. So when she came back, he'd tell her, "I'm going to knock the shit out of you." She'd say, "Lay a hand on me and I'll go to the Chaplain." You didn't have to be hot-tempered to kick somebody in the butt for talking back like that. In fact, one time he bumped her pretty hard. She went straight to the Chaplain. Two of them, Catholic and Protestant, both came to the house.
"Well, I understand what you think about me beating her all the time," he said, "and if you want to try socking it to me for child abuse, go ahead. But I haven't been abusing her. I only kicked her, because she threatened me with you." Sad thing was, he had thought she was lying when all the time she was going right out of her head. Told him she'd cleaned her bedroom and thought she did, you know. Didn't know the difference.
Sitting by that big barbecue, watching those rocks heat, these kinds of things were heating up in him. Mike, the sweetest of the kids, also began to go off half-cocked on Midway. He and a little buddy got into the house of the Senior Chief when the man was off the Base on vacation, and dumped all the goddamn food Senior Chief had left for his pet fish into the tank at once. That killed the fish. A real good kid, never been in trouble before, but on Midway he began to go wild.
Then he remembered Sissy living with Barrett up above a bar in Lehi. Kathryne had him half crazy with the idea this fellow Barrett was nothing but a low, dirty heroin pusher who had Sissy strung out. Used to imagine Nicole tied to a bed while Barrett poked needles in her. So he got himself fired up by drinking down in the bar below, figuring his daughter was right above him with a junkie who could be carrying any kind of weapon. Finally, he just walked up the stairs, stepped over a wino or two, and knocked on the door. There was this sweet, pleasant-looking squirt, liked him on sight, but he said all the same, "Barrett, I'm gonna cut your goddamn balls off." Instead the kid just looked at him, smart kid, a lot of potential, cute, with small features, looked just like Sissy, and the kid said, "Well, uh, I know things haven't been going right." Before he got done running himself down, Charley got to feeling sorry for him. Something positive about the boy. Maybe it was the way Barrett looked at him when told there was gonna be a castration party, and said, "If it's going to make you feel better, here I am." Anyway, Charley had to admit once he got a full look at Nicole, "Boy, you don't look bad to me," he had said. "Haven't lost any weight, you know." In fact, Nicole looked terrific. Charley mumbled something about "Your mom said you was here on heroin. Shoot, you're all right." He talked just a little bit then walked down the stairs and left. Felt foolish. Felt double foolish because he turned around at the last and said to Nicole, "Sissy, will you ever forgive me for what I did?" Said that in front of Barrett-he must have been out of his head. But he was brooding over what Lee had told him, and somehow took it personally.
That was when he fell asleep. Woke up in the dawn with the fire out. After that, it was all catch up and lots of smoke in your nostrils.
During the morning, tension kept building. Charley finally put the beef on a spit. Everybody was disappointed. Everybody kept telling him how good it was. "Not too burnt?" "No, not too burnt." "Not sooty?" "Hell, no."
Around this point, his dad mentioned that Sissy was living down the road. Why didn't they invite her? Charley didn't want to, exactly; but he gave a phone call. It took something. He just had never stopped by to see her.
Then he was wondering what kind of hippie she had now. Leave it to Sissy to locate the undesirables. Or should he say