Expendable - James Alan Gardner [121]
And that was ignoring what Jelca intended to do.
Back at the campfire, I sat beside Oar as night drew in. My belt pouch still contained protein rations—the flavorless kind that supply your nutritional needs but give you constipation if you eat them more than two days in a row. I munched on a cube and wondered if I should try to feed Oar too…dissolve a chunk in river water, then feed it to her like gruel. Not yet; I wasn’t sure rations intended for humans would sit well with her digestion. Besides, her voice had been so raspy before she passed out. I didn’t want to make her swallow if her throat was filled with broken glass.
Hours trickled by. I kept the fire burning brightly. Once, as I gathered more wood, I came face-to-face with a deer buck displaying a majestic rack of antlers. He went on his regal way without paying me the least attention. Other animals occasionally appeared as beady eyes reflecting the firelight, but none came closer than that.
With nothing else to occupy my thoughts, I replayed my conversations with Jelca. What should I have said? What could I have done to change his mind? I had an immediate answer: I hadn’t been able to reach him because I didn’t look like myself. I didn’t look like an Explorer. If I hadn’t covered my birthmark, Jelca would have taken me more seriously. He may have softened, allowed himself to be drawn back to sanity. Instead of destroying the planet in a fit of pique, he might have considered the possibility of a future here…a future with me.
But no. I looked like an empty version of the woman he knew. Sanitized. Made cosmetically acceptable. That only added to his anger…maybe pushed him over the edge.
Listen. I knew I was being ridiculous: putting the blame on my face, as always. Ugly face, beautiful face, it was always in the wrong. Loudly and clearly, I told myself, “You’ve really got to work on self-esteem, Festina.”
I stared into the fire a long time. It felt hot on my cheeks.
A Gray Morning
I slept three or four hours over the night. Nothing happened. Nobody came…not Jelca and not a search party. That bothered me. Ullis must know I was missing. Even if Jelca had sabotaged the elevator, all those non-zoology majors should have been able to repair it by now. Where were they?
Dawn arrived diffidently, easing itself into a chilly gray. Clouds had crept in overnight—a high overcast that misted the top of the tallest mountains. It would rain before the end of the day…either that or snow. I threw more wood on the fire and huddled against Oar for comfort.
Her comfort or mine. Both.
My watch read 10:05 when I first heard the distant whine. I snatched up a handful of throwing stones…but the sound did not come from the elevator. It was somewhere outside. Was the city opening its roof doors? Could the Explorers be launching the whale? I tried to imagine a way Jelca could trick the others into leaving without even looking for me. Nothing came to mind.
As I listened, I realized the sound was not coming from the mountain; it came from the sky.
“Don’t I have enough trouble?” I groaned.
I debated moving Oar to safe cover, but she’d already been moved too much for a patient with internal injuries. Anyway, if something happened to me, I wanted her in plain sight where searchers could find her.
Better to leave well enough alone.
I stood. I waited.
A glass eagle set down on the rocks in front of me. It had missiles mounted under its belly.
The cockpit slid open and a man clambered out. “Saw your fire!” he shouted.
“Happy birthday, Phylar,” I said.
Yet Another Reunion
He was no longer wearing his tightsuit. In fact, Tobit had stripped to his underwear, giving a more revealing view of his hairy torso than any woman could wish. The only piece he had retained from his uniform was the helmet, carried under his arm: his good arm. His other arm, the prosthetic