Expendable - James Alan Gardner [136]
“Not especially,” I said.
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Vincence shrugged. “But I think you’ll do it anyway. Chee’s position is vacant…and before you break into cursing, yes, he was victim of a great injustice too. We’ll schedule an inquiry to decide whose head should roll. In the meantime, however, Admiral Chee needs a successor. Since most of his spies are retired Explorers, we think they’ll be more cooperative if their new leader comes from the Corps.”
“I don’t want to be an admiral,” I told him. “The thought turns my stomach.”
“Festina,” Seele said quietly, “the job is important. I know what you must be feeling—I felt the same forty years ago. But someone has to do Chee’s job. Someone has to take the responsibility.”
“I’m an Explorer First Class,” I objected. “A dozen ranks away from admiral.”
“Chee’s people will teach you the job,” Vincence said. “He has a top notch staff. You’ll have their respect and the respect of government leaders too. You’re smart, you’re committed, and best of all, you’re an Explorer who doesn’t look like an Explorer anymore. Perfect admiral material.”
I caught my breath. I forced myself to remain calm. “All right,” I said, “I’ll take over Chee’s work.”
“Good,” Vincence smiled.
“And for the good of the Corps, I won’t tell the public what Jelca did on Melaquin.”
“Also good,” Vincence nodded.
“And you can make me an admiral,” I said.
“Done,” Vincence replied.
“But…” I reached up to my cheek, dug in my fingernails, and pulled down hard. The artificial skin came off like an adhesive bandage, ripping away from my cheek with a good fierce sting. “I’m afraid,” I said, “I’m going to be an admiral who looks like an Explorer.”
My Second Graduation
And so….
This afternoon, the Explorer Academy held its annual graduation ceremony. As always, a number of admirals sat on the podium. As always, one of those admirals gave the commencement address.
This year, that admiral was me.
Me with my purple birthmark. My disfigurement. My pride.
The lecturer who introduced me claimed I was the Explorer who made good. The Explorer who had earned respect. The Explorer who sat on the review commission and made a difference.
Let’s hope that’s true.
I stood in front of the graduating class, ready to tell them their world was changing. “Greetings,” I said, “I am a sentient citizen of the League of Peoples and I beg your Hospitality. My name is Festina Ramos and I take great pride….”
The rest of my words were drowned out by applause.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to the writing group who helped correct my first mistakes: Linda Carson, John McMullen, and Dave Till. Thanks to Rob Sawyer who helped correct my next mistakes, and to Jennifer Brehl who picked up the ones after that. If there are any slipups left, it’s obviously my fault for hiding them too well.
Finally, a big hello and thank you to my fellow writers in FASS ’77. Somewhere in our script meetings, the phrase “Expendable Crew Member” was spoken for the first time. It rattled around in my head for almost twenty years, and look what finally came out.
About the Author
JAMES ALAN GARDNER lives in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, with his wife, Linda Carson, and two cantankerous rabbits. He has published numerous pieces of short fiction in such places as Amazing, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, OnSpec, and the Tesseracts anthologies. In 1989, he was the Grand Prize winner in the Writers of the Future contest. He has also won an Aurora award for Best Short SF Story in English (1990).
In his spare time, he plays piano, practices kung fu, and recovers from