Expendable - James Alan Gardner [65]
For a moment or two, we both brooded silently over that mental image.
My Native Guide
“All right,” I said at last, “you’ve traveled before. Would you like to do it again?”
“What do you mean, Festina?”
“I know where Jelca and Ullis went. I want to go there too, and I’d like you to come with me. My native guide.”
“We would see Explorer Jelca?”
“And Ullis and your sister,” I added, too sharply. “What’s your sister’s name anyway?”
“I call her Eel,” Oar answered. “An eel is an unpleasant kind of fish.”
“Is that her real name?” I asked suspiciously.
“Yes,” Oar replied. In a lower voice she added, “At one time, I did not think eel-fish were so bad.”
I hid a smile. “Would you like to go with me, Oar? I could use your help.”
“Is that true? I would be helpful to an Explorer?”
“Absolutely. You’ve helped me the past few days, haven’t you?”
“That is different, Festina—you were crazed. Now that you are an Explorer again, you are not such a person as needs help from me.”
I looked at her closely. Her head was lowered, her posture crumpled. Hesitantly, I patted her shoulder; today, her skin felt cool under my fingers. “The other Explorers made you feel useless…is that it?”
“You do too, Festina.” She didn’t lift her head. “You know many clever things. Even when you are being stupid, you make me fear I am the one who does not understand. You can swim and make fires; you can use your seeing machine. And you know the names of plants and animals—you talked about them when you were crazed. I have lived here all my life and do not know such names. You know more about my world than I do.” Suddenly, she raised her eyes and looked straight at me. “How do you think I will help you, Festina? Do you just need someone for bed games? That is the only thing Explorers do not like to do by themselves.”
“Oar…” When I met Jelca, he was going to have a lot of explaining to do. “Oar, I need you to help carry things. It’s not glamorous, but it’s important—you’re much stronger than I am. And I’ll teach you other things as we go along. Besides,” I added, “I’ll be lonely and sad if I go on my own. I need company, and I’d like it to be you.”
“Festina,” Oar said, “are you telling the truth? Maybe you just feel bad about going away, and you say, ‘Come along, Oar,’ because you are sorry for me. I do not want to burden you, Festina. It is sad being alone, but it is worse being with someone who hates you.”
“I don’t hate you now, and I won’t hate you ever. Listen, Oar. If I went without you, I’d be alone with my thoughts for weeks on end. I couldn’t stand that—not right now. With you along, I’ll stay sane…probably moody as hell, but I’ll cope. Besides, Explorers never set out alone if they can help it. Solo missions are a hundred times more dangerous than taking a partner.”
Oar’s face brightened. “I will be your partner? Your real partner?”
I closed my eyes against a stab of heartache. Oh God, Yarrun! I thought. But he would be the first to tell me, Let go, let go. “Yes,” I said, “you’ll be my new partner…if you want to be.”
She leapt forward and seized me in a bear hug so fierce it had a serious potential for cracking my ribs. I might have been squeezed to a pulp if a sudden thought hadn’t struck her. Releasing her grip, she stepped back a pace and asked, “Now that I am an Explorer, do I have to make myself ugly?”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Part XI
TRAVEL
Weeds Transformed
Riding back to the beach in Oar’s glass coffin was more pleasant than my previous trip. This time there was a hint of brownish green light, dimmed by fathoms of water but enough to show where the boat was going. I lay on my stomach and looked through the forward wall, watching for fish crossing the bow. There were several collisions on the trip—smallmouth bass who glanced off and