Faith - Lesley Pearse [118]
‘Then you must take what you want,’ Robbie said. ‘You are an intelligent, beautiful woman and you could go far. Men are by nature anxious to keep their women down, but that doesn’t mean you have to let them.’
They talked for over an hour and by the time Laura left she’d told him that she really wanted a career, but that she couldn’t sec how she could fit that around taking Barney to and from school.
‘It is possible,’ Robbie said. ‘I have several women working for me with children of the same age. It’s just a matter of organizing child care.’
Barney began school in early September and loved it from the start. While Laura was glad he didn’t cry and cling to her, it made her choke up seeing him in his smart grey shorts and too large navy blazer, lining up with the other children, his face bright with expectation.
She felt lost as she walked home. She had looked forward to having time alone, no questions to answer, no requests for her to play with him, no drinks or snacks to prepare, but suddenly everything seemed empty. She didn’t want to look in the shops, visit the library or go to the laundrette, and she certainly didn’t want to go home to the empty flat and stare at the walls.
It was a strange, unsettled, lonely period for her that autumn. Alone all day, then just a couple of hours with Barney before Stuart came home, then off to the casino for the evening. Stuart didn’t understand why she was down in the dumps, and she certainly couldn’t tell him that her spirits always lifted once she was on her way to work, and fell again when she got home.
She knew she was being selfish when she wouldn’t get out of bed on Sunday mornings, and left him to entertain and feed Barney. She knew she was being cruel when she made disdainful, pointed comments about Stuart’s lack of ambition, or when she turned her back on him in bed and didn’t even kiss him goodnight. But she couldn’t help herself. The passion she used to feel for him seemed to have gone.
She ought to have realized that Robbie Fielding’s interest in her wasn’t just that of an employer who appreciated an employee’s efforts – after all, she’d had a lot of previous experience with predatory men. But when he began calling in at the Maybury far more often, she thought that he was checking on the croupiers, or even the management. It didn’t cross her mind he was coming especially to see her.
She liked the way he asked after Barney, that he complimented her on how she looked, and she enjoyed having a drink with him at the end of the evening because he was a good conversationalist. He told her entertaining stories about gamblers and some of the colourful people he’d met while working in the gambling business. He was also very interested in her past, and what had brought her to Scotland. She told him more about her marriage to Greg than she’d ever told anyone, including Stuart.
Then one evening in November, he kissed her.
She’d had several drinks earlier, and she was too tight to see it coming, but not enough to tell herself there was nothing in it.
‘I want you,’ he said, holding her by the shoulders and looking right into her eyes. ‘I did the first moment I saw you. Not for a quick fuck on the office floor either, but for ever.’
‘But I’m with Stuart,’ she said, backing away from him. She’d liked his kiss, she liked him, and if she had been free she would almost certainly have been tempted to have a date or two with him, but she hadn’t realized she’d given him the green light. ‘And I’m happy with him.’
‘Are you?’ He raised one dark eyebrow. ‘I think from what you’ve told me that’s it’s all played out and you both want different things.’
She protested and told him he was wrong, but he just smiled.
‘You were born for better things than living in a tenement,’ he said. ‘I see you as the kind of woman who wants a beautiful home, foreign travel, staying at the best hotels and your son going to a good school. You could have that with me.’
‘You’re married,’ she retorted, feeling nervous now.
‘Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you what you want too. I can see the