Faith - Lesley Pearse [142]
But the next morning when she woke and remembered what was said, she suddenly realized Jackie was trying to tell her she was afraid she’d never have a child.
It had never occurred to her before that Jackie and Roger wanted children. She’d always seen them as the couple with everything and imagined that a child would be too much of a tie in their busy lives. But when she thought of how Jackie was with Barney, she realized she was in fact hungry for one of her own.
When she got downstairs Jackie was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. She had already got Barney up and given him his breakfast, and now he was out by the harbour playing tag with the other kids. ‘I’ll make another pot of tea,’ she said to Laura. ‘And maybe you’d like some aspirin too.’
‘I’ll do it,’ Laura said, feeling ashamed of herself. ‘I’m sorry if I was nasty last night. I was a bit depressed.’
‘I’m sorry too if you thought I was being judgmental about the pin-up picture,’ Jackie said. ‘I was just worried you were mixing with dodgy people.’
They agreed to put that tiff behind them, and over a fresh pot of tea they discussed what they would do that day. Jackie had just heard about Brodie Farm being put up for sale and thought they could go up there together and have a look around.
‘Before we do that, I want to know why you are afraid you can’t have a baby,’ Laura said. ‘Have you had any tests?’
‘Dozens,’ Jackie shrugged. ‘And they all say there is nothing wrong with me.’
‘What about Roger?’
Jackie’s face clouded over. ‘He won’t go for any. He gets really indignant at the suggestion it might be him. To be honest, it’s putting our marriage under a lot of strain. If he doesn’t care enough about why I want to get checked out, I don’t want to make love. If we don’t make love I’ve got no chance of getting preggy either. Got any suggestions?’
‘Lie back and think of England?’ Laura said, raising one eyebrow.
Jackie laughed. ‘Or maybe I should get myself a new stud.’
They saw Brodie Farm that day, and despite it being a ruin, Jackie instantly fell in love with it. Laura could see its potential, but she had a sneaky suspicion that its real attraction was that it would be a huge project which Jackie could use as an excuse to stay away from Roger. For the rest of the week she could talk of nothing else, and on several occasions she disappeared, only to come back an hour later saying she’d been up there again. Perhaps it was this preoccupation on her part that made her ask Laura at the end of the week about her job in the dress shop.
‘They can’t be very pleased that you need the whole of the school holidays off,’ she said. ‘And you must need the money?’
‘Well no, they weren’t pleased,’ Laura said. ‘But they had to lump it, I couldn’t take Barney with me. And yes, I could do with the money.’
‘Well, why don’t you go back to work then, and leave Barney with me? I’ve got to stay on through till September to oversee the renovations on that other cottage I bought. And I want to find out more about Brodie Farm. I could bring him back to you the day before he has to return to school.’
Laura felt a surge of excitement at the idea of going back to the city alone. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked. She could ring Don and see if she could get some extra sessions, and she could go out at night with Katy and the other girls.
‘Laura, I’d love to look after Barney.’ Jackie smiled. ‘Goodness knows when I’ll get to see him again! To me it would be bliss.’
Laura had ten days on her own, and she filled every moment of them. Sessions at the studio each day, and out partying in Glasgow by night. She only went home to Edinburgh once to get some more clothes, the rest of the time she slept on one of the other girls’ settees. Not that she slept much, for she was doing coke in the mornings, and took some speed at night to keep going. She hadn’t had so much fun in years, dancing, drinking and flirting with any man who looked as if he had a few bob.
She made a point of phoning Jackie every evening at six to check on Barney, but once that was done she could