Faith - Lesley Pearse [214]
For the first couple of days in London, Laura had been too nervous to go out alone. It was freedom enough not to be locked up, to eat and drink what she liked, when she liked, and to hear no fights or arguments. But that nervousness faded after Meggie had taken her to the police station to make her bail arrangements.
Sometimes she took a train or a bus out into the countryside and walked for miles. Other times she went up to the West End to browse in the shops, and contemplated what she would do, and where she would go after her appeal.
Stuart telephoned a couple of times a week. He said that every day he felt a bit better, and that the stab wound was healing well. But he didn’t say he was coming back to London, and to Laura that was evidence that his interest in her was merely that of an old friend.
Angie phoned quite often too, firstly to check if Laura liked the clothes she’d given her, and then just to chat. It was a delight to find they were able to pick up their friendship as if nothing had ever disconnected it. Laura was out of touch with fashion, and with talking to ordinary people, but each time she put the phone down after speaking to Angie she felt she was a step nearer to regaining her old spirit.
Laura loved almost all the clothes Angie had given her, though it took Ivy to convince her that she wasn’t too old to wear pink pedal-pushers, or a short flippy denim skirt. But after wearing only jeans and a tee-shirt for two years, it felt marvellous to dress up again. When she got her first wolf whistle from a passing truck driver as she walked to the shops, she began to think that maybe she wasn’t washed up altogether.
Half-way through September, in the early evening, she and Meggie were sitting on the patio just outside the kitchen with drinks while the dinner cooked.
‘I thought we ought to ask Mother over for Sunday lunch,’ Meggie said suddenly.
Laura almost choked on her wine with the shock.
‘I know you don’t really want to see her, but you’ve got to. It’s all part of moving on,’ Meggie continued, her mouth set and determined. ‘She’s a bitter, nasty old woman, and she probably deserves the lonely life she’s got. But she’s seventy now and she isn’t in the best of health. She could pop off at any time and then you might feel bad that you’d never made it up with her.’
‘I won’t,’ Laura said. ‘I forgave her a long time ago for subjecting us to Vince, I did come to see that she was so blinded by the nice house and the money that she didn’t see what he was doing to us. But I can’t forgive her for not caring that Barney died, or for talking to the newspapers about me during the trial.’
Meggie sighed deeply. ‘I think that was unforgivable too, but you don’t have to forgive her, just see her and talk to her. I’ve got this gut feeling it might make you feel better about yourself.’
‘I feel perfectly good about myself, thank you,’ Laura retorted.
‘You don’t,’ Meggie insisted. ‘You’ve got issues that have never been resolved. I know because I’ve got them too. We both subconsciously blame Mum for the bad things we did in the past – well, in as much that we think if we hadn’t been forced out to fend for ourselves so early we might have done things differently.’
Laura had to admit she agreed with that. ‘But she never gave a toss about us once we’d gone, so why should we give her the time of day now?’
‘Because she’s our mother,’ Meggie said. ‘Just think on that, Laura!’
Laura did think on it. She thought that maybe if Barney hadn’t died so young, he might have rejected her later. She wondered if during the time he spent with Jackie, he sometimes wished he could stay there for ever. She wished she’d been able to apologize for neglecting him, and to tell him how much she’d loved him.
The following morning at breakfast, she told Meggie she would welcome their mother on Sunday. ‘Well, welcome’s pushing it a bit far,’ she joked. ‘But I won’t greet her with a clove of garlic