Faith - Lesley Pearse [225]
Belle had loved Laura too, right from when she was a little girl, all through her teens to her early twenties. Laura was the one who had time for her, a real big sister, not like Jackie who dismissed her as being just a kid. She bought her lovely presents, she would spend ages curling her hair, take her to the cinema, swimming and roller skating. Even when Barney was born she was still the same. Belle could remember going round to see her in Chelsea, and Laura always had time to listen to her news, commiserate about boyfriends who let her down, and she’d give her a hug and a few pounds and tell her that she was beautiful.
When Laura ran away from Gregory, Belle missed her very much. She’d been used to going to the Chelsea house whenever she felt lonely, and she could talk to Laura so much more easily than to Jackie, or even her mother.
After Laura settled in Scotland with Stuart, Jackie used to go up to see her. Belle wanted to go too, but she was never invited. Jackie would come back saying what a lovely man Stuart was and how happy Laura and Barney were with him, and it was obvious to Belle that Laura had forgotten all about her.
Then Laura and Stuart split up, and Stuart arrived to work for Jackie.
From the first moment Belle saw him, she wanted him. No man before or since had had that effect on her. The softness of his Scottish accent, the gentleness in his grey eyes, the width of his shoulders and that wide smile all made her tremble.
She made excuses to go to the sites where he was working, and she’d watch the way he planed or sawed wood, and imagine those big, practical hands caressing her. He used to call her Rapunzel because of her long hair, and in her night-time fantasies he was her prince.
Everything about him was perfect: the leanness of his hips, his muscular arms and thighs, his shiny, shoulder-length hair with just a hint of auburn, and those sexy full lips. He was her dream man come true.
She thought she could have him because every other man wanted her. But though he seemed to like her, he didn’t want her. He was in love with Laura, and however hard she tried to make him forget her by luring him out to clubs, concerts and parties, it didn’t work.
The more deeply she fell in love with him, the more her love for Laura turned to hatred. Laura didn’t want him, but she had a hold on his heart, and that prevented Stuart from loving her. She didn’t want to remember the humiliation she felt when she finally got Stuart into her bed, and he couldn’t perform.
It began so well. She was burning up with desire as he kissed and cuddled her; other men she’d been to bed with leapt on her with hardly any foreplay but Stuart seemed only concerned with her pleasure. It was only when she became so aroused that she straddled him that she discovered he didn’t even have an erection.
‘I’m sorry, babe,’ he murmured. ‘I just can’t do it.’
She couldn’t accept that. Every man she’d been with before had been rampant even before they got her into bed. She tried her best to get it up for him, but when nothing happened she began questioning him indignantly.
‘It’s not you,’ was all he would say, with more apologies.
But she wouldn’t leave it, and all at once he was wriggling away from her and reaching out for his shirt at the side of the bed.
‘This was a mistake, babe,’ he said wearily. ‘I really like you, Belle, but I guess it’s too soon to even think about another woman.’
As she watched him pulling his clothes on, she felt he had insulted her in the worst possible way. She was young and gorgeous, but he couldn’t get it up because he was thinking of Laura. There was nothing on this earth Belle wanted more than Stuart, but that bitch had prevented her from getting her heart’s desire.
All that came back on 12 May as she sat there drinking and watching the clock; once again Laura was blocking the way to what she wanted.
At eleven o’clock she knew Laura would now be driving over the Forth Bridge.