Fanny and the Servant Problem [1]
You will remind Charles to put a footwarmer in the carriage!
BENNET. I will see to it myself. [He goes out.]
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Thank you, Bennet. [To her sister] One's feet are always so cold after a railway journey.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I've been told that, nowadays, they heat the carriages.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Ah, it is an age of luxury! I wish I knew which were her favourite flowers. It is so nice to be greeted by one's favourite flowers.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I feel sure she loves lilies.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And they are so appropriate to a bride. So -
Announced by Bennet, Dr. Freemantle bustles in. He is a dapper little man, clean-shaven, with quick brisk ways.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he shakes hands]. Well, and how are we this afternoon? [He feels the pulse of the Younger Miss Wetherell] Steadier. Much steadier! [of the Elder Miss Wetherell.] Nervous tension greatly relieved.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. She has been sleeping much better.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he pats the hand of the Elder Miss Wetherell]. Excellent! Excellent!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. She ate a good breakfast this morning.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he pats the hand of the Younger Miss Wetherell]. Couldn't have a better sign. [He smiles from one to the other.] Brain disturbance, caused by futile opposition to the inevitable, evidently abating. One page Marcus Aurelius every morning before breakfast. "Adapt thyself," says Marcus Aurelius, "to the things with which thy lot has been cast. Whatever happens--"
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. You see, doctor, it was all so sudden.
DR. FREEMANTLE. The unexpected! It has a way of taking us by surprise--bowling us over--completely. Till we pull ourselves together. Make the best of what can't be helped--like brave, sweet gentlewomen. [He presses their hands. They are both wiping away a tear.] When do you expect them?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. To-night, by the half-past eight train. We had a telegram this morning from Dover.
DR. FREEMANTLE. Um! and this is to be her room? [He takes it in.] The noble and renowned Constance, friend and confidant of the elder Pitt, maker of history, first Lady Bantock--by Hoppner--always there to keep an eye on her, remind her of the family traditions. Brilliant idea, brilliant! [They are both smiling with pleasure.]
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And you don't think--it is what we wanted to ask you--that there is any fear of her finding it a little trying- -the light? You see, this is an exceptionally sunny room.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And these actresses--if all one hears is true -
The dying sun is throwing his last beams across the room.
DR. FREEMANTLE. Which, thank God, it isn't. [He seats himself in a large easy-chair. The two ladies sit side by side on a settee.] I'll tell you just exactly what you've got to expect. A lady--a few years older than the boy himself, but still young. Exquisite figure; dressed--perhaps a trifle too regardless of expense. Hair--maybe just a shade TOO golden. All that can be altered. Features-- piquant, with expressive eyes, the use of which she probably understands, and an almost permanent smile, displaying an admirably preserved and remarkably even set of teeth. But, above all, clever. That's our sheet-anchor. The woman's clever. She will know how to adapt herself to her new position.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [turning to her sister]. Yes, she must be clever to have obtained the position that she has. [To the Doctor] Vernon says that she was quite the chief attraction all this winter, in Paris.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And the French public is so critical.
DR. FREEMANTLE [drily]. Um! I was thinking rather of her cleverness in "landing" poor Vernon. The lad's not a fool.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We must do her justice. I think she was really in love with him.
DR. FREEMANTLE [still more drily]. Very possibly. Most cafe- chantant singers, I take it, would be--with an English lord. [He laughs.]
THE ELDER
BENNET. I will see to it myself. [He goes out.]
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Thank you, Bennet. [To her sister] One's feet are always so cold after a railway journey.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I've been told that, nowadays, they heat the carriages.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Ah, it is an age of luxury! I wish I knew which were her favourite flowers. It is so nice to be greeted by one's favourite flowers.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I feel sure she loves lilies.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And they are so appropriate to a bride. So -
Announced by Bennet, Dr. Freemantle bustles in. He is a dapper little man, clean-shaven, with quick brisk ways.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he shakes hands]. Well, and how are we this afternoon? [He feels the pulse of the Younger Miss Wetherell] Steadier. Much steadier! [of the Elder Miss Wetherell.] Nervous tension greatly relieved.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. She has been sleeping much better.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he pats the hand of the Elder Miss Wetherell]. Excellent! Excellent!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. She ate a good breakfast this morning.
DR. FREEMANTLE [he pats the hand of the Younger Miss Wetherell]. Couldn't have a better sign. [He smiles from one to the other.] Brain disturbance, caused by futile opposition to the inevitable, evidently abating. One page Marcus Aurelius every morning before breakfast. "Adapt thyself," says Marcus Aurelius, "to the things with which thy lot has been cast. Whatever happens--"
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. You see, doctor, it was all so sudden.
DR. FREEMANTLE. The unexpected! It has a way of taking us by surprise--bowling us over--completely. Till we pull ourselves together. Make the best of what can't be helped--like brave, sweet gentlewomen. [He presses their hands. They are both wiping away a tear.] When do you expect them?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. To-night, by the half-past eight train. We had a telegram this morning from Dover.
DR. FREEMANTLE. Um! and this is to be her room? [He takes it in.] The noble and renowned Constance, friend and confidant of the elder Pitt, maker of history, first Lady Bantock--by Hoppner--always there to keep an eye on her, remind her of the family traditions. Brilliant idea, brilliant! [They are both smiling with pleasure.]
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And you don't think--it is what we wanted to ask you--that there is any fear of her finding it a little trying- -the light? You see, this is an exceptionally sunny room.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And these actresses--if all one hears is true -
The dying sun is throwing his last beams across the room.
DR. FREEMANTLE. Which, thank God, it isn't. [He seats himself in a large easy-chair. The two ladies sit side by side on a settee.] I'll tell you just exactly what you've got to expect. A lady--a few years older than the boy himself, but still young. Exquisite figure; dressed--perhaps a trifle too regardless of expense. Hair--maybe just a shade TOO golden. All that can be altered. Features-- piquant, with expressive eyes, the use of which she probably understands, and an almost permanent smile, displaying an admirably preserved and remarkably even set of teeth. But, above all, clever. That's our sheet-anchor. The woman's clever. She will know how to adapt herself to her new position.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [turning to her sister]. Yes, she must be clever to have obtained the position that she has. [To the Doctor] Vernon says that she was quite the chief attraction all this winter, in Paris.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And the French public is so critical.
DR. FREEMANTLE [drily]. Um! I was thinking rather of her cleverness in "landing" poor Vernon. The lad's not a fool.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We must do her justice. I think she was really in love with him.
DR. FREEMANTLE [still more drily]. Very possibly. Most cafe- chantant singers, I take it, would be--with an English lord. [He laughs.]
THE ELDER