Fanny and the Servant Problem [20]
for the first time. She does nothing noticeable--merely stands listless while one might count half a dozen--then turns to him again.] Don't you think you're going it a bit too strong, all of you? I'm not a fool. I've got a lot to learn, I know. I'd be grateful for help. What you're trying to do is to turn me into a new woman entirely.
BENNET. Because that is the only WAY to help you. Men do not put new wine into old bottles.
FANNY. Oh, don't begin quoting Scripture. I want to discuss the thing sensibly. Don't you see it can't be done? I can't be anybody else than myself. I don't want to.
BENNET. My girl, you've GOT to be. Root and branch, inside and outside, before you're fit to be Lady Bantock, mother of the Lord Bantocks that are to be, you've got to be a changed woman.
A pause.
FANNY. And it's going to be your job, from beginning to end--yours and the rest of you. What I wear and how I look is Jane's affair. My prayers will be for what Aunt Susannah thinks I stand in need of. What I eat and drink and say and do YOU will arrange for me. And when you die, Cousin Simeon, I suppose, will take your place. And when Aunt Susannah dies, it will merely be a change to Aunt Amelia. And if Jane ever dies, Honoria will have the dressing and the lecturing of me. And so on and so on, world without end, for ever and ever, Amen.
BENNET. Before that time, you will, I shall hope, have learnt sufficient sense to be grateful to us. [He goes out.]
FANNY [she turns--walks slowly back towards the tea-table. Halfway she pauses, and leaning over the back of a chair regards in silence for a while the portrait of the first Lady Bantock]. I do wish I could tell what you were saying.
The door opens. The Misses Wetherell come in. They wear the same frocks that they wore in the first act. They pause. Fanny is still gazing at the portrait.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Don't you notice it, dear?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Yes. There really is.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It struck me the first day. [To Fanny, who has turned] Your likeness, dear, to Lady Constance. It's really quite remarkable.
FANNY. You think so?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. It's your expression--when you are serious.
FANNY [laughs]. I must try to be more serious.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It will come, dear.
They take their places side by side on the settee.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [to her sister, with a pat of the hand]. In good time. It's so nice to have her young. I wonder if anybody'll come this afternoon.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [to Fanny]. You see, dear, most of the county people are still in town.
FANNY [who is pouring out tea]. I'm not grumbling.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh, you'll like them, dear. The Cracklethorpes especially. [To her sister for confirmation] Bella Cracklethorpe is so clever.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And the Engells. She'll like the Engells. All the Engell girls are so pretty. [Fanny brings over two cups of tea.] Thank you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [as she takes her cup--patting Fanny's hand]. And they'll like you, dear, ALL of them.
FANNY [returning to table]. I hope so.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It's wonderful, dear--you won't mind my saying it?--how you've improved.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Of course it was such a change for you. And at first [turns to her sister] we were a little anxious about her, weren't we?
Fanny has returned to them with the cake-basket.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [as she takes a piece]. Bennet [she lingers on the name as that of an authority] was saying only yesterday that he had great hopes of you.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [Fanny is handing the basket to her]. Thank you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I told Vernon. He was SO pleased.
FANNY. VERNON was?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. He attaches so much importance to Bennet's opinion.
FANNY. Um. I'm glad I appear to be giving satisfaction. [She has returned to her seat at the table.] I suppose when you go to town,
BENNET. Because that is the only WAY to help you. Men do not put new wine into old bottles.
FANNY. Oh, don't begin quoting Scripture. I want to discuss the thing sensibly. Don't you see it can't be done? I can't be anybody else than myself. I don't want to.
BENNET. My girl, you've GOT to be. Root and branch, inside and outside, before you're fit to be Lady Bantock, mother of the Lord Bantocks that are to be, you've got to be a changed woman.
A pause.
FANNY. And it's going to be your job, from beginning to end--yours and the rest of you. What I wear and how I look is Jane's affair. My prayers will be for what Aunt Susannah thinks I stand in need of. What I eat and drink and say and do YOU will arrange for me. And when you die, Cousin Simeon, I suppose, will take your place. And when Aunt Susannah dies, it will merely be a change to Aunt Amelia. And if Jane ever dies, Honoria will have the dressing and the lecturing of me. And so on and so on, world without end, for ever and ever, Amen.
BENNET. Before that time, you will, I shall hope, have learnt sufficient sense to be grateful to us. [He goes out.]
FANNY [she turns--walks slowly back towards the tea-table. Halfway she pauses, and leaning over the back of a chair regards in silence for a while the portrait of the first Lady Bantock]. I do wish I could tell what you were saying.
The door opens. The Misses Wetherell come in. They wear the same frocks that they wore in the first act. They pause. Fanny is still gazing at the portrait.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Don't you notice it, dear?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Yes. There really is.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It struck me the first day. [To Fanny, who has turned] Your likeness, dear, to Lady Constance. It's really quite remarkable.
FANNY. You think so?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. It's your expression--when you are serious.
FANNY [laughs]. I must try to be more serious.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It will come, dear.
They take their places side by side on the settee.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [to her sister, with a pat of the hand]. In good time. It's so nice to have her young. I wonder if anybody'll come this afternoon.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [to Fanny]. You see, dear, most of the county people are still in town.
FANNY [who is pouring out tea]. I'm not grumbling.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh, you'll like them, dear. The Cracklethorpes especially. [To her sister for confirmation] Bella Cracklethorpe is so clever.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And the Engells. She'll like the Engells. All the Engell girls are so pretty. [Fanny brings over two cups of tea.] Thank you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [as she takes her cup--patting Fanny's hand]. And they'll like you, dear, ALL of them.
FANNY [returning to table]. I hope so.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It's wonderful, dear--you won't mind my saying it?--how you've improved.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Of course it was such a change for you. And at first [turns to her sister] we were a little anxious about her, weren't we?
Fanny has returned to them with the cake-basket.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [as she takes a piece]. Bennet [she lingers on the name as that of an authority] was saying only yesterday that he had great hopes of you.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [Fanny is handing the basket to her]. Thank you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I told Vernon. He was SO pleased.
FANNY. VERNON was?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. He attaches so much importance to Bennet's opinion.
FANNY. Um. I'm glad I appear to be giving satisfaction. [She has returned to her seat at the table.] I suppose when you go to town,