Fat Years - Chan Koonchung [54]
I saw Little Xi hurriedly put on her coat, pick up her canvas bag, and come up to listen in.
I shouted again into the intercom, “What is it?”
“Mr. Chen … wait a minute please …” The man seemed to have moved away from the intercom.
“Is there another door out of here?” asked Little Xi. I shook my head.
Then a woman’s voice came over the intercom. “Lao Chen, open the door! Please open the door,” she shouted.
“Who is it?” I yelled back.
“It’s me!”
Then I realized it was Wen Lan’s voice.
“It’s a friend of mine,” I told Little Xi.
Little Xi opened the apartment door and said, “I’ll hide in the corner of the hall, and then you can open the front gate.”
I didn’t think that was necessary, but before I could say anything, she had already bolted out.
I pressed the button and heard the iron gate downstairs open. Little Xi was hiding on the stairwell one floor up. My building doesn’t have an elevator, so I could hear Wen Lan’s high heels clacking briskly up the stairs.
As soon as she got to my floor, she demanded, “Why the hell did you take so long opening the door?”
“What on earth do you want?” I asked, blocking the entrance to my flat.
“Someone’s been picking on me, I’ve been hurt and need a shoulder to cry on,” she said.
You really do think I’m permanently on standby for you, I thought to myself.
She was now clearly agitated and tears were welling up in her eyes. “Why are you looking at me so cruelly? You never used to treat me like this. Didn’t you say you were going to take care of me?”
What would Little Xi think when she heard this?
“Come in,” I hissed.
Wen Lan strode in and I closed the door quickly after her. I knew that Little Xi would take this opportunity to get away, taking with her any misunderstandings about my relationship with Wen Lan.
“What’s wrong with you? Why do you look so shocked?” Wen Lan asked.
“How did you find me here?” I said, really getting angry now.
“Dongzhi Menwai, Happiness Village Number Two. I asked the security guard where that Hong Kong writer lives and he brought me here.”
“Do you really think I’m going to be on permanent standby for you?” I said, lowering my voice.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I said slowly, and then more deliberately, “never again.”
“What do you mean?” Wen Lan shouted at me suddenly as though she could hardly believe her ears.
“Just leave,” I said coldly, and feeling calmer now I added, “And don’t ever come back.”
“Say that again!”
“I said, get the hell out of here!” I pointed to the door.
“Fine, you’re heartless anyway,” Wen Lan said as though she had finally got the message. “But I’m warning you—you’ve upset me now, and there will be consequences.”
Wen Lan waited till she’d got to the door before she turned around and vigorously gave me the finger. I slowly replied in kind.
Paradise on earth
I shouldn’t have let Little Xi leave. I should have declared my love sooner. I regret it all now.
It’s been two weeks and there’s been no news. I wrote an e-mail to wudaokoupengyou, but there was no response. I searched the net for wudaokoupengyou, but received only a great deal of information on Wudaokou and friend. I could not find any posts by Little Xi. This was quite different from the last time, when she used feichengwuraook for her e-mail address, and her Web site name had been “If you’re not sincere, don’t bother, okay.” Now that Little Xi knows she’s under surveillance, her e-mail and her Web site are probably not connected anymore. It’s likely she used wudaokoupengyou just to make contact with me. What the hell is her current e-mail and Internet name?
It’s dawned on me too slowly, but every day since Little Xi left, I’ve realized how much I truly love her. I’d be willing to go into hell for her. But the weirdest thing is that my two-year-long feeling of happiness has left me. I’m longing for love, and now I’m no longer happy.
One day, when the Beijing air was fragrant with the scent of willow and crab-apple blossoms, I went over to Dong Niang’s house, walked dejectedly into