Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [18]
“Well, the rock fainted.”
Ranger toed him, and Tank moaned a little and opened his eyes.
“Why did he faint?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Ranger cut his eyes to me. “Excuse me?”
“I promised.”
Ranger gave Tank another nudge with his foot. Actually, it was almost a kick.
“I do,” Tank said. “No, wait, I don’t. I do. I don’t.” He shook his head, his vision cleared, and he looked up at Ranger. “Crap.”
“You fainted,” I told Tank.
“I did not,” Tank said. “That’s a lie.”
Ranger grabbed Tank by the shirt and pulled him to his feet. No small task, since Tank had about fifty pounds on Ranger.
“Talk,” Ranger said to Tank.
Tank looked at me.
“You might as well,” I said to Tank. “He’ll find out anyway. He always does.”
“I’m engaged,” Tank said. “I guess it’s to get married.”
Ranger didn’t move for a beat. “Engaged,” he finally said. “And you think it’s to get married?”
Tank nodded his head.
“And your fiancée?”
“Lula,” Tank said.
Ranger rocked back on his heels, grinning. “No wonder you fainted.”
“You gotta help me,” Tank said.
“No way I’m getting involved in this. You’re on your own.” Ranger glanced at the door to Brenda’s suite. “Any word from the diva?”
“Haven’t seen her all day,” Tank said. “The PR person is in there.”
Ranger checked his watch and rapped on the door. Nothing happened, so he rapped again, and Nancy answered. “Five minutes,” Ranger said.
Ten minutes later, Ranger opened the door with his key card, and we walked in on Brenda. She was in a hotel bathrobe, and she was talking on the phone.
“I’m in the middle of something,” she said to Ranger.
“We need to leave,” Ranger said.
“Be a good boy or mommy will spank you,” Brenda said to Ranger.
Ranger yanked the phone cord out of the wall, and the little plastic clip popped off and flew across the room.
Brenda looked Ranger over. “Very masterful,” she said. “I like your style.”
Hard to tell if it was sarcasm, or if Brenda was feeling like she wouldn’t mind wearing Ranger’s handcuffs. I was going with some of both.
Ranger looked at Nancy. “Does she have clothes?”
Nancy had a bunch of dresses draped over her arm. “We’re working on it.”
“Work on it faster,” Ranger said.
I could hear muffled voices and scuffling sounds in the hall. There was a loud thud, someone shrieked, and that led to more voices all talking at once.
Ranger opened the door, and we looked out at Tank. He was surrounded by women carrying signs protesting Brenda and breast augmentation. Tank had one of the signs in one hand and a woman by the back of her jacket in the other. The woman’s feet weren’t touching the ground.
“What’s going on?” Ranger asked Tank.
“They wanted to get in to see Brenda, but I wouldn’t let them, and then this one hit me with her sign,” Tank said.
“That’s assault,” Ranger said to the woman. “We could have you arrested.”
The woman looked at Ranger and sucked in some air.
“Put her down,” Ranger said to Tank, “and return her sign.” He faced the rest of the women. “You can’t protest here. You have to return to the lobby. You can have your demonstration down there. Brenda will be walking through in a couple minutes.”
The women turned and got into the elevator and disappeared.
Ranger punched hotel security into his cell phone. “We have protestors in the elevator, heading for the lobby,” he said. “I want them escorted out of the hotel.”
“You’re sneaky,” I said to Ranger.
Ranger ushered me back into the suite. “Something to remember.”
Brenda had crammed herself into a low-cut black sweater and tight black jeans. The sweater gave a first-rate display of her spectacularly augmented breasts. Truth is, for a moment I was just a teensy jealous. I was half her age, and I was worried that even on a good day, I didn’t look as sexy as Brenda. She was wearing strappy heels and long, dangly diamond earrings that caught the light when she moved.
“What was that all about?” she asked.
“More animal cruelty protestors in the hall,” I said. “They’re gone.” I thought this was easier than explaining