Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [3]
I drove the short distance to the bonds office and pulled to the curb.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“Your mother’s been returned to lockup because she failed to show for her court appearance. She can’t make her bail, and I can’t take you home to an empty house, so I’m parking you in the bonds office until I can find a better place for you.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no? No isn’t an option.”
“I’m not getting out of the car.”
“I’m a bounty hunter. I could rough you up or shoot you or something if you don’t get out of the car.”
“I don’t think so. I’m just a kid. Juvie would be all over your ass. And your eye is twitching.”
I hauled my cell phone out of my bag and dialed Morelli. “Help,” I said.
“Now what?”
“You remember your cousin Loretta’s kid, Mario?”
“Vaguely.”
“I’ve got him in my car, and he refuses to leave.”
“Possession is nine-tenths of the law.”
Zook was slouched down, watching me from the corner of his eye. Arms crossed over his chest. Sullen. I blew out a sigh and told Morelli the deal with Loretta.
“I’m off at four,” Morelli said. “If Loretta isn’t bonded out by then, I’ll take the kid off your hands. In the meantime, he’s all yours, Cupcake.”
I disconnected and dialed Lula.
“Yeah?” Lula said.
“I’m outside, and I have Loretta’s kid in the car.”
Lula’s face appeared in the front window to the bonds office. “I see you and the kid. What’s going on?”
“He won’t get out of the car,” I said. “I thought you might help persuade him.”
“Sure,” Lula said. “I could persuade the hell out of him.”
The bonds office door opened, and Lula swung her ass over to my car and yanked the door open.
“What’s up?” Lula said to the kid.
Zook didn’t answer. Still pouting.
“I’m here to escort you out of the car,” Lula said, leaning in, filling the doorframe with her red hair extensions and acres of chocolate-colored boob barely contained in a low scoop neck zebra-stripe sweater.
Zook focused on Lula’s gold tooth with the diamond chip, and below that what seemed like a quarter mile of cleavage, and his eyes almost fell out of his head. “Cripes,” he said, kind of croaky-voiced, shrinking back into his seat, fumbling to get out of his seat belt.
“I got a way with men,” Lula said to me.
“He’s not a man,” I told her. “He’s just a kid.”
“Am too a man,” he said. “Want me to prove it?”
“No,” Lula and I said in unison.
“What’s this?” Connie wanted to know when the three of us walked into the bonds office.
“I need to leave Mario someplace for an hour while I hop over to Rangeman.”
“I told you my name is Zook! And what’s Rangeman?”
“I work with a guy named Ranger, and Rangeman is the security company he owns.”
“Are you the Zook that writes his name all over town?” Lula asked him. “And what kind of name is that anyway?”
“It’s my Minionfire name.”
“What’s a Minionfire?”
“Are you kidding me? You don’t know Minionfire? Minionfire’s only the world’s most popular, most powerful, totally awesome, badass difficult game. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Nation of Minionfire?”
“In my neighborhood, we only got the nation of Bloods, Crips, and Islam. Maybe a few Baptists, but they don’t hardly count anymore,” Lula said.
Zook took his laptop out of his backpack. “I can hook up here, right?”
“Don’t you have homework?” Connie asked him.
“I did my homework in detention. I gotta check on Moondog. He’s a griefer, and he’s massing the wood elves.”
That caught Lula’s attention. “Are these wood elves the same as Santa’s elves?”
“Wood elves are evil, and they can only be stopped by a third-level Blybold Wizard like Zook.”
“You don’t look like no Blybold Wizard,” Lula said. “You look like a kid that’s drilled too many holes in hisself. You keep doing that, and stuff’s gonna start leaking out.”
Zook’s hand unconsciously went to his ear with the six piercings. “Chicks dig it.”
“Yeah,” Lula said, “they probably all want to borrow your earrings.”
“Getting back to the problem at hand,” I said, “I need to park Mario, or Zook, or whoever the heck he is. Ranger wants to talk to me about working