Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [30]
“You have hours.”
“Yeah, but this here’s important. I’m gonna be mingling with all them entertainment people. This could be my big break. I could get discovered.”
Lula left, but I stayed at the office and did some phone work on a couple skips. At three-fifteen, I swiped on some mascara and lipgloss and headed out. At three-thirty, I was in the lobby, waiting for Lula. I didn’t see Brenda’s stalker, but I knew he was somewhere nearby.
Lula barreled into the lobby through the front door and motored across the floor. She was in black heels and black stockings and a short, totally sequined, tight black skirt. Her boobs were overflowing out of a black satin bustier, and she had it all topped off with a black satin tuxedo jacket. Her hair was Budweiser red. I suspected she was also wearing a Glock at the small of her back, under the jacket.
“Hey, girlfriend,” she said. “Let’s rock and roll.”
“Brenda might not be too happy to see me,” I said to Lula in the elevator. “She had a makeup malfunction on television, and at first glance, it might have seemed to be my fault.”
“Are you talking about the eyelash fiasco? Connie and me almost wet our pants.”
The elevator doors opened at Brenda’s floor, and I looked out at Tank, standing halfway down the hall in front of the suite.
“It’s my sweetie!” Lula shrieked, taking off at a run on the stiletto heels.
Tank froze, deer in the headlights. Except with Tank, it was more like rhino in the headlights. Lula grabbed Tank and gave him a kiss, and Tank broke out in a sweat.
“Ranger bailed on the sound check,” I told Tank, “so I brought Lula to help out.”
Tank almost smiled. He knew Ranger would have a seizure at the thought of Lula working for him.
“I’m all dressed in Rangeman colors,” Lula said to Tank.
“Yeah,” Tank said. “You look fine.”
“And I’ve been working on our wedding all day,” Lula told him. “I’ve got all the details worked out, so you don’t have to worry about anything. I know you want the whole big deal with the fireworks and me in a veil and a gown with a big long train and all, so I’ve got it all goin’ on. And all you gotta do is go for a fitting for your tuxedo.”
The sweat was dripping off Tank’s chin onto his T-shirt. “Tuxedo?” he said. “Fireworks?”
“And lots of pigs in a blanket. You like pigs in a blanket, right?”
“Yeah,” Tank said.
“Then it’s all settled,” Lula told him.
“I got it covered here,” I said to Tank. “Maybe you want to take a break.”
Tank nodded but didn’t move.
“You aren’t going to faint again, are you?” I asked him.
“Tank don’t faint,” Lula said. “Look at how big he is. He got a circulation system like a steam engine.”
I knocked on Brenda’s door and Nancy answered.
“Uh-oh,” she said when she saw me.
“Ranger is busy,” I told her. “Lula and I are here to take Brenda to the sound check.”
Nancy looked at Lula and gasped.
“Who’s there?” Brenda called from the bedroom. “Is it Mr. Hard Ass?”
I pushed my way into the suite. “Mr. Hard Ass is busy. It’s the eyelash expert and her sidekick, Lula. The cars are downstairs, waiting.”
Brenda power-walked out of the bedroom. “I am not going with you. You destroyed my good reputation. I have an image to uphold. I was a beauty queen. I was America’s Sweetheart. I’ve gone platinum.”
“And I was a ’ho,” Lula said. “What’s that got to do with the price of beans?”
Brenda’s eyebrows raised up an inch. “Were you really a ’ho? I’ve never met a real ’ho before.”
“Probably you did,” Lula said. “There’s lots of ’hos out there, but we look just like regular people.”
Brenda and I stared at Lula for a couple beats. Lula didn’t nearly look like a regular person.
“So let’s get a move on,” Lula said. “I don’t want to miss nothing on this sound check.”
We moved out of the room, into the hall, and hustled into the elevator. We dropped to the lobby, started across the floor, and Brenda spotted the stalker.
“There’s Gary,” she said. “He’s not supposed to be here. I had a restraining order put on him. He should be home with his mother. Ever since he got hit by that lightning,