Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [36]
I followed Lula past the bank of file cabinets and through the storeroom to the back door. We stepped outside and stood on the small patch of blacktop that was allocated as emergency parking . . . an emergency usually being when someone is trying to collect money from Vinnie and he doesn’t want his car to be seen in front of the agency.
“This here’s my big opportunity,” Lula said. “I could get discovered. I could have my own reality TV show with Brenda. Even my horoscope said I was gonna look to new horizons today.”
“This is a disastrous idea! Think about it. We’re like Lucy and Ethel out there. We never know what the heck we’re doing. And now we’re going to drag Brenda around with us? And it’s going to be documented. Remember when that mop fell out of the closet and you thought it was a snake? Do you want that picture to go into a million homes?”
“Maybe not that picture.”
“And what about the time you fell in the grave and couldn’t get out and freaked?”
“Yeah, but anyone would have. I figure we just have to pick a good bust. Like the old naked guy would have been okay.”
“You can’t put an old naked guy on national television. Anyway, we already brought him in.”
“Connie said she had something we could use. And besides being my big break, they’re gonna pay us.”
That caught my attention because I needed a new car . . . bad. “How much?”
“A couple thousand. And they thought we’d only have to do two days of filming.”
“Okay, I’ll do it, but I’m not dressing in black leather.”
“You’re gonna be sorry. You’re gonna look like a amateur. You’re not gonna fit in with Brenda and me. You should at least wear the jacket.”
“Fine. I’ll wear the jacket.”
Lula hustled back inside. “We’re ready to roll. We just cleared our schedule for you. And Stephanie’s all excited about wearing the jacket.”
“What have you got?” I asked Connie.
“Susan Stitch. Just came in. She had a fight with her boyfriend and tried to leave, but he climbed onto the roof of her SUV and wouldn’t get off, so she drove him to Princeton. Actually, she didn’t quite make Princeton. The police finally stopped her on Route 1 about a half mile from the interchange.”
“Jeez,” I said. “Was he hurt?”
“Not from the ride, but he sort of flew off the car when Susan stopped short, and then she kind of ran over him.”
“Kind of?”
“He tried to scramble to his feet, but she gunned the car and clipped him in the leg.”
“She sounds dangerous,” Lula said. “We want to make sure we’re packin’.”
“No! No packing,” I said. “No packing anything. This is a domestic disturbance.”
“Sure. I know that,” Lula said.
“Why did she miss her court date?” I asked Connie. “Did you call her?”
“She said she forgot, and she said she was sorry. So it should be an easy pickup. She lives on Bing Street in North Trenton. It’s a small apartment building. She’s in apartment 212.”
“You see,” I said to Lula. “She’s sorry. We don’t want to overreact with this woman.”
“This sounds like it’s going to be boring,” Brenda said. “I think we should hunt down a rapist or something.”
“Gee, sorry,” I said. “There aren’t any of those around right now, right, Connie?”
“Yeah, we already caught all the rapists.”
“We gotta have a plan for the takedown,” Lula said. “Do you have your cuffs ready?” she asked Brenda.
“Cuffs?”
“You gotta have handcuffs,” Lula said. “How’re you gonna do a takedown without handcuffs?”
Brenda glared at Nancy. “Dammit, why don’t I have handcuffs?”
Nancy was head down, thumbing through the pages on her clipboard. “Wardrobe didn’t list handcuffs.”
“Isn’t it bad enough I haven’t got a gun?” Brenda said. “Just because little Miss Goody Two Shoes Stephanie Plum doesn’t have the stomach for it. Doesn’t want to stress out the disturbed woman who ran over her boyfriend.”
“You ran over a cameraman,” Nancy said to Brenda.
“He deserved it,” Brenda said. “The sonovabitch.”
“I always got a gun,” Lula said. “I got a big one.”
“This just isn’t going to work,” Brenda said. “How are we supposed to look like bounty hunters if we don’t go in with guns drawn? This is very disappointing.