Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [59]
I straightened Morelli’s bedroom, made the bed, and did a superficial cleaning of the bathroom. I peeked in at Zook’s room and decided not to invade his privacy. Stephanie Plum, Ms. Sensitivity and half-assed housewife.
I heard Bob gallop from the kitchen to the front door, and I knew Morelli had arrived with food.
“Steph,” he yelled. “I’m home.”
Ricky Ricardo brings Lucy her dinner.
I met Morelli at the bottom of the stairs and took a grocery bag from him. He handed the other bags over to Zook and Mooner.
“Meatball subs, potato salad, coleslaw for all of us,” he said to Zook and Mooner. “The beer is for me.”
I took the bag into the kitchen and put the lunch meat, milk, orange juice, and sliced cheese in the fridge. Morelli’d also gotten bread and a cake that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEN.
“A birthday cake?” I said to him.
“I know you love birthday cake, and apparently Ken didn’t need his.”
We brought napkins, plates, silverware, and soda to the living room and Morelli remoted the television on. We crammed ourselves onto the couch and ate our food and watched the early evening news.
“And now we bring you our special report from that special person . . . Brenda,” the anchor said.
Brenda popped onto the screen. Her face was blue, she was in full black leather bounty hunter mode, and she was in Morelli’s backyard.
“Here we are at Aunt Rose’s house,” she said. “And as you can see, digging for the stolen money has already begun.”
There was a shot of Morelli telling her to leave, and there was a full thirty seconds of Morelli turning the hose on her. The screen went black for a moment, and then Brenda reappeared in dry clothes, free from mud. “Here we are back at Aunt Rose’s house,” Brenda said. “We aren’t going to bother the hot guy who lives here, because he might turn his hose on us again, and while I wouldn’t mind seeing his hose in private, I’m not taking any chances in his backyard. As you can see, there’s this big dump truck parked behind his garage. I had one of my crew climb up on the truck and look inside, and he said it’s getting filled up with chunks of concrete. And even as we speak I can hear the jackhammer working in Aunt Rose’s basement.” Brenda aimed the microphone at the back of Morelli’s house, and there was the faint sound of the jackhammer, which at that distance sounded like a woodpecker. “As you all know, it’s been thought the missing nine million dollars was last seen by Aunt Rose, and maybe this new development will bring us closer to all that money. This is Brenda signing off and saying . . . see you soon!”
Zook gave a howl of laughter.
“Dude,” Mooner said. “Awesome. Ratings fabuloso.”
The next shot was Brenda in the studio sitting opposite the anchor.
“That was an interesting piece of film,” the anchor said to her. “I understand you’ve been an insider on this investigation.”
“Yes, I have,” Brenda said. “In fact—”
And at that instant, Gary crept up behind Brenda and tapped her on the shoulder.
“I have to talk to you,” he said. “I had a headache, so I went to my bedroom to lay down, and I had another one of those dreams. You know, the big pizza dream. Only this time, the pizza was pepperoni and black olives, and it was very disturbing because it could fly! I saw it flying through the air.”
Brenda rolled her eyes. “Gary, how many times have I told you to go home? Have you stopped your medication again?”
The anchor was on his feet. “How did he get in here? Who is he?”
“I’m her cousin on our Grammy Mim’s side,” Gary told him.
The anchor had his hand waving in the air. “Security!”
“You have to beware of the big pizza!” Gary said to Brenda. “It’s not an ordinary pizza, and it’s out to get you. And it might be when you’re sitting on the toilet on Route 1.”
“I swear,” Brenda said. “You are such a nut.”
Two uniformed guards appeared on the set and the station went to commercial.
“That was primo,” Mooner said. “The dude was, like, a real celebrity stalker. And the white hair is a good look for him. Au courant but raging retro. Like totally