Fearless Fourteen - Janet Evanovich [78]
Truth is, I was nervous about the ransom sting, and I wouldn’t have minded a diversion while I waited for Morelli’s phone call. I stood and hung my bag on my shoulder.
“I’m off to North Trenton,” I said to Connie. I cut my eyes to Lula. “Are you coming with me?”
“I guess I am,” Lula said. “Someone’s gotta go along and protect your skinny ass.”
“You didn’t do a lot of protecting yesterday. You sat in the car when I chased down Dom.”
“Darn right. I knew there was gonna be dogs. These people got dogs and all kinds of security shit. Did you think of that? No. You chased Dom into that yard, and next thing, there was a pack of killer dogs running after you.”
We got out on the sidewalk, and Lula looked at my car. “No more Zook,” she said. “I thought the Zook was an improvement.”
“It was too recognizable with Zook on it.”
“Yeah, Connie and me always knew when you were trying to sneak past the office.”
I drove to North Trenton and parked in Susan’s lot. We took the stairs, and I knocked on her apartment door. No one answered, but the door eased open.
“Uh-oh,” Lula said. “There’s always dead bodies inside when this happens.” She stuck her head in and sniffed. “I smell monkey,” she said.
I rapped on the open door. “Anyone home?” I yelled.
No one answered, but I could hear a television squawking somewhere. I stepped into the apartment and scanned for the monkey. No monkey in sight.
Lula was pressed tight behind me. “I better not get attacked by no monkey,” she whispered. “I’m gonna be mad at you if I get a monkey on my head. There was lots of other losers we could have gone after.”
The living room and kitchen area was unoccupied. The television was blaring from the bedroom.
“Hello,” I yelled again. “Anyone home?”
“Who could hear over that television?” Lula said. “Sounds like one of them music video stations.”
We cautiously crept to the bedroom and peeked through the open door. Susan was naked on top of some guy with a cast on his leg, and she was going to town on him, grinding and pounding away in time with the music.
“Oops,” I said. “Sorry.”
Susan paused for a moment and covered her breasts with her hands. “We made up,” she said.
I was telling myself not to look, but my eyes weren’t cooperating. “Great, but you still have to get your bond straightened out.”
“It was for Carl,” she said. “He was unhappy.”
“Un-hunh.”
I could hear Lula making choking sounds behind me.
“We’ll wait in the hall until you’re done,” I said to Susan.
“Okay,” she said. “It never takes long.”
“Cripes,” the guy said. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Lula and I almost knocked each other over trying to get out of the bedroom.
“I gotta get outta here before I bust from trying not to laugh out loud,” she said. “I didn’t want to be rude, but I was a ’ho for a bunch of years, and I never seen anyone bouncing around on a wanger like that. That woman still got some anger left in her. He’s lucky if she don’t bend something and do permanent damage.”
Lula was looking at me and not paying attention to what she was doing. She opened the powder room door instead of the front door and Carl lunged out at her and grabbed her face.
“Eeeeee,” she squealed. “I got a monkey on my face. Help! Do something.”
Carl backflipped off her and ran around the room.
“Get me out of here,” Lula said. “Where’s the door? Someone open the door!”
She found the door, yanked it open, and Carl scampered out. He ran down the hall, jumped up, and punched the elevator button. The elevator doors opened, Carl leaped inside, and the doors closed.
“I didn’t see that,” Lula said. “I had nothing to do with it, and I never was here.”
I didn’t want to go back into the bedroom, so I yelled as loud as I could. “Susan! Your monkey just got into the elevator.”
“Oh yes!” Susan shouted. “Yes, yes, yes. Yippie-ki-yay, cowboy!”
“I’m gonna pretend she heard,” Lula said.
“I did my best to tell her.”
Lula nodded in agreement. “Nobody could ask for anything more from you.”
The racket was still