Fima - Amos Oz [131]
"I don't have a car," Fima said.
"No, really? You see, it's true what they say: everything comes from Heaven. I've got a car for you. A bargain like you've never seen. A once-in-a-lifetime chance. But first let's mark the difference between sacred and profane."
"I can't drive," said Fima.
"We'll get you through the test for three hundred dollars in all. Unlimited lessons. Or we'll find a way to include it in the price of the car. Something special. Just for you. But, first, put on tefillin: you'll see, you'll feel like a lion."
Fima laughed:
"Anyhow, God's forgotten me."
"And second," the young man continued, oblivious, with ever-mounting enthusiasm, "you should never say 'nonbeliever.' There's no such thing as a nonbeliever. No Jew in the world can be a nonbeliever. The very expression is tantamount to slander, or even—Heaven forbid!—to blasphemy. As it is written, a man should not reckon himself as wicked."
"I happen," Fima insisted, "to be a one-hundred-percent nonbeliever. I don't observe a single commandment. Only the six hundred and thirteen transgressions."
"You are mistaken," the young man said politely but firmly, "totally mistaken, sir. There is no such thing in the whole world as a Jew who does not keep some commandments. There never has been. One does more, another does less. As the Rebbe says, it is a matter of quantity, not quality. Just as there is no such thing as a righteous man who never sins, so there is no such thing as a sinner who does not perform some righteous acts. Just a few. Even you, sir, with all due respect, every day you observe a few commandments, at least. Even if a person considers himself a total apikoros, he still observes a few commandments each day. For example, the fact that you're alive, you're already keeping the commandment Thou shalt choose life.' Every hour or two, every time you cross the road, you choose life, even though you could have chosen the opposite, Heaven forbid! Am I right? And then the fact that you've got kids—they should be healthy!—you have observed the commandment 'Be fruitful and multiply.' And the fact that you're living in the Land of Israel—that's another half-dozen commandments. Then if you feel happy sometimes, you've got another one. Every one's a winner! Sometimes you may have an overdraft up in Heaven, but they never cut off your credit. Unlimited credit, that's what you get. And meanwhile, for the few commandments that you do keep, you've got your own private savings plan up there, and every day you invest a bit more and a bit more, and every day they credit you with interest and they add it to your capital. You'd be amazed, sir, how rich you are without even knowing it. As it is written, the ledger lies open and the hand writes. Five minutes to put on tefillin, less than five minutes even—believe me, it doesn't hurt—and you accumulate an extra bonus for Sabbath. Whatever your line of business in the lower world, believe me there's no other five-minute investment that will give you a higher yield. It's a tried and tested fact. No? So it's not so terrible. Maybe it's just that your time hasn't come yet to put on tefillin. When it comes, you'll know. You'll receive a signal there's no mistaking. The main thing, sir, don't forget: The gates of repentance stand ever open. Around the clock, as they say. Sabbaths and festivals included. Now, about the business of the car and the driving test, here, take these two phone numbers."
Fima said:
"Right now I haven't even got a phone."
The missionary shot him a pensive sideways glance, as though making some kind of mental assessment, and hesitantly, in a voice that was close to a whisper, he said:
"You're