Fima - Amos Oz [69]
16. FIMA COMES TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THERE IS STILL A CHANCE
SOME TIME AFTER ONE O'CLOCK, ON HIS WAY HOME IN THE TAXI Teddy had called for him, Fima remembered his father's last visit. Was it two days ago or the previous morning? How the old man had begun with Nietzsche and ended with the Russian railways, which were constructed in such a way that they could be of no use to invaders. What had his father been trying to say to him? Fima now thought that the old man's conversation had revolved around some point that he could not or dared not express directly. In die midst of all those tales and morals, all those Cossacks and Indians, Fima had failed to notice that there had been complaints of a lack of air. Yet his father never talked about ill health, apart from the usual wisecracks about his backache. Now Fima recalled his panting, his coughing, the whistling sound that came from his throat or chest. As he was leaving, the old man seemed to be trying to say something, which Fima hadn't wanted to listen to. Now, he said to himself: You preferred to quibble about Herzl and about India. What was he hinting at amid all that jocular wordplay? On the other hand, his leave-taking always has an epic quality. If he goes to the café for half an hour, he wishes you a life replete with meaning. If he goes to buy a paper, he warns you not to squander life's rich treasure. What was he trying to say this time? You missed it. You were so intent on the thrills of a victory over the Occupied Territories. As usual. You thought that if you could just get the better of him in an argument, the obstacles to peace would be removed and a new era could begin. As when you were little: an acerbic child with no keener desire than to catch grownups out in a mistake or a slip of the tongue. To win an argument with an adult, force him to hoist the white flag. If some visitor or other used the expression "most of the majority of people," you chimed in exultantly to the effect that "most of the majority" actually signified 25.1%, in other words a minority, not a majority. If your father said that Ben Gurion was a blunt speaker, you pointed out that if he was blunt, he could not be very sharp. Yesterday when he was visiting you, there were moments when his cantorial tenor was almost silenced by breathlessness. True, he's an old chatterbox, a dandy and a bore, a philanderer, on top of which he suffers from political blindness of the most self-righteous and infuriating kind. And yet in his own way he is a generous, goodhearted man. He stuffs money into your pocket while he pokes his nose into your love life and tries to run your whole life for you. And just where would you be now without him?
The taxi stopped at the light at the Mount Herzl junction. The driver said:
"It's freezing out there. My heater's broken. The damn traffic lights aren't working. This whole country's fucked up."
Fima said:
"Why exaggerate? There may be twenty-five countries in the world