Fire and Ice - Anne Stuart [89]
He grabbed the chair and propped it under the door handle; no one would be coming in without giving him plenty of warning. He took his gun from his belt and set it on the table, looking down at her.
Her one good eye fluttered open, staring up at him. She was drugged up the ass, looking at him with muzzy wonder. “Who are you?”
He’d forgotten his changed appearance. “Your doctor,” he said, wishing he’d grabbed an operating mask at the same time.
And then she smiled, a dazed, dreamy smile. “You’re Reno,” she murmured happily. “I knew you’d come.”
She didn’t know anything; he could tell from her movements and slurred speech that she was too drugged to realize what was going on. Tomorrow morning she’d think it was just a morphine dream, or whatever it was they were giving her. In the meantime, he was going to give in to temptation, do something he’d never be able to do in real life.
“You’re imagining me,” he said softly, kicking off his shoes. “I’m just a dream. You won’t even remember me in the morning.”
For once she didn’t argue. Maybe that had been the trick—he should have just kept her drugged and docile while they’d been on the run in Japan. And then he saw the tears begin to slide down her bruised face.
“How badly are you hurt?” He should have checked her chart on the way in, but he’d wanted to get out of sight as quickly as possible.
“Nothing interesting,” she said, sounding faintly disgruntled. “Just a sprained ankle and some bruises. It’s my heart.”
“Your heart?” he echoed, panicked. “Do you have internal injuries…?”
“It’s broken,” she said, soft, plaintive, the tears still sliding down her face.
He muttered a curse. It was just the drugs talking, but he could feel his own heart twist inside. She lay in the middle of the wide hospital bed, but she was looking very small, and he simply climbed up beside her, pulling her into his arms with exquisite care, not wanting to hurt her any more.
She let out a small sound, and for a moment he thought it was a cry of pain, but then she moved closer, putting her face against his shoulder, and he could feel her crying. “I missed you,” she said, her voice muffled.
“I know.” He held her gently—she suddenly felt fragile, and he’d almost been too late. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if she’d gone over that bridge. He didn’t want to think what would have happened to him. He’d lost Ojiisan, the most important person in his selfish, miserable life. If he’d lost her…
He wasn’t going to think about the fact that she wasn’t even his to begin with. All he wanted to do was hold her while she cried, hold her while she slept, watch over her for as long as he could.
And then, once she was home and safe, he was going to kill the man who’d done this to her.
He remembered what he’d told her. If he ever felt in danger of falling in love, he’d lie down till the feeling passed. He hadn’t been fast enough. She’d gotten to him, the way no other woman had been able to, ruining his life, ruining his sex drive, ruining everything. All he wanted was her, and right now all he wanted was to hold her, take care of her.
He was totally fucked up. But the good thing was, he could get over it. So he was temporarily insane. He had enough strength of will to fight it, to walk away from someone who didn’t fit into his plans for his life.
And he would. Once he was sure she was safe.
For now he’d hold her. Stroke her hair, put his lips against her forehead. And not think about anything at all.
“I want some of those drugs you gave me last night,” Jilly said brightly. She was dressed in the clothes Jenkins had brought her, ensconced in a wheelchair on her way out of the hospital, and the studious young resident was fiddling with her discharge papers.
“Drugs?” the woman said. “Are you in pain?”
“Not particularly. But I had the best dream of my life.” The effect was lingering even now—she could still feel Reno’s arms around her, smell the almond soap that he liked, feel the beat of his heart. She felt happy for the first time in weeks, and if it was caused by drugs, she wanted