Fire Dragon - Katharine Kerr [63]
“Very well, then. But what will he think of this?”
“I don't know. But ye gods, Sanno, half the women in the kingdom will be ever so happy to console him.”
Anasyn sighed with a shake of his head. Lilli laid a timid hand on his chest.
“Please forgive me, Sanno? I never meant to dishonor you, truly I didn't. I was half-mad at first, thinking I loved him, and he is the prince. I was flattered, I guess. Truly, truly flattered.”
“No doubt any woman would be. Lilli, Lilli! Very well. I won't hold it to your shame, but if you were to renounce him, well, it would make me a happy man. You can always come back to Hendyr, if things turn bad here. Abrwnna and I will gladly take you in.”
“My thanks. But with Nevyn on my side, I doubt if it will come to that.”
“Just so.” All at once he smiled at her. “I was forgetting just how powerful the old man is in the court.” He gave her a brotherly kiss on the forehead. “Shall we go down and have breakfast?”
“My thanks. Let me just finish dressing.”
It was late in the day before Lilli saw Prince Maryn, and then it was only from a distance. She was walking out in the main ward when he and his vassals rode in, followed by an honor guard. Lilli took shelter in the shadow of one of the outbuildings and watched while the noble-born dismounted. They were laughing, joking with one another, and Maryn himself smiled, happier in a quiet sort of way than she'd ever seen him. She could guess that they'd been to the temple of Bel and been told that soon he would be proclaimed king. She waited till they'd all gone inside before she resumed her walk.
Yet Lilli knew that she would have to confront him, and soon, but for all she knew, it might be days before he could get a moment free to visit her. She spent the evening in her chamber, waiting, mulling over what she might say to him, and above all, reminding herself that the glamours she would see were the result of Nevyn's dweomer and the wild energies it had summoned. Her candles had burned down to the last few inches before she heard his soft knock on the door.
“Come in,” she called out. “It's not barred.”
Maryn strode in, shut the door, then stood smiling at her. In the soft and dancing light he looked so beautiful that for a moment she forgot her resolve. She rose from her chair, but as she did so, she caught sight of the Wildfolk of the air, hovering around him, showering him with their unnatural beauty, all silver and pale.
“My lady,” Maryn said. “I've missed you badly.”
“Have you, Your Highness?” Lilli said.
“Don't call me that. I'm just your Marro.”
Here was the moment. Lilli forced herself to remember her image of Lady Bevyan's disappointed eyes.
“Not mine any longer,” Lilli said. “My prince, the time has come for us to end this thing between us.”
He stared, his mouth a little open, eyes narrow with sheer disbelief. Ever so slightly he shook his head in a reflexive no.
“My betrothed is dead,” Lilli went on. “I'd honor him decently by mourning him.”
Maryn let out his breath in a sharp sigh. “Of course,” he said. “I'd forgotten about poor Branoic.”
“I've not. I'll never be able to forget him. I loved him, truly loved him.”
Again he shook his head. He took one step toward her; she took a step back.
“Losing him made me realize what love is,” Lilli said. She paused, gasping for breath. “And, Your Highness, I fear me that I don't love you. I admire you more than any man in the kingdom. I hold you in my heart as high king. I was ever so flattered when you wanted me. But it's not love, and truly, I think me you'd be content with nothing less.”
Maryn grunted as if someone had kicked him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and continued staring at her, his grey eyes hard and cold, the color of storm clouds. Lilli had run out of prepared speech. She clasped her shaking hands together and waited.
“I'd hoped for a better welcome than this,” he remarked at last. “You can't mean this.”
“I do mean it, Your Highness.”
“I understand about the grief. It would be truly unseemly for you to fall into my arms with Branoic just gone. But griefs