Fire - Kristin Cashore [87]
Yes, Hanna started brawls, and it could not be because her father favoured anyone over her. But today she was not brawling, and once she woke from the daze of her bow and arrows enough to notice the lady and the fiddle, the girl begged a concert, and got one.
Afterward Fire walked around the archery range with Archer and Nash, her guard trailing behind.
The simultaneous company of these two men was a funny thing, for they mirrored each other. Each in love with her, gloomy and moping; each resigned to hopelessness and each subdued, but resenting the presence of the other. And neither doing much to hide any of this from her, for as usual Nash’s feelings were open, and Archer’s body language unmistakable.
But Nash’s manners were better than Archer’s, at least for the moment, and the court had a greater hold on his time. As Archer’s choice of conversation became less inclusive, Nash took his leave.
Fire considered Archer, so tall and fine-looking beside her, his bow in hand. She spoke quietly. ‘You drove him away, with your talk of our childhood in the north.’
‘He wants you, and he doesn’t deserve you.’
‘As you deserve me?’
Archer’s face took on a grim smile. ‘I’ve always known I don’t deserve you. Every regard you’ve ever shown me has been a gift undeserved.’
That is not true, she thought to him. You were my loyal friend even before I could walk.
‘You’ve changed,’ Archer said. ‘Do you realise how much? The more time I spend with you here the less I know you. All these new people in your life, and your happiness in this princess child - and her dog, of all things. And the work you do every day - you use your power, every day. I used to have to fight with you to use it even to defend yourself.’
Fire took a careful breath. ‘Archer. Sometimes in the courtyards or the hallways, I’ve taken to changing people’s attentions so they don’t notice me. So I can walk by without being hassled, and everyone else can continue their work without distraction.’
‘You’re not ashamed of your abilities anymore,’ Archer said. ‘And the sight of you - you’re glowing. Truly, Fire. I don’t recognise you.’
‘But the ease with which I’ve come to use my power. Can you understand how it frightens me, Archer?’
Archer stopped for a moment, his gaze fierce, his eyes on three dark dots in the sky. The archery range stood at a high point overlooking the sea. A trio of raptor monsters circled now over some trade boat below, and arrows flew from the bows of its sailors. It was a rough autumn sea and a blustery autumn wind, and arrow after arrow failed to hit its mark.
Archer took one stunning, lazy shot. A bird fell. Then Fire’s guard Edler connected with a shot of his own, and Archer clapped him on the shoulder to congratulate him.
Fire thought her question forgotten, and so she was surprised when he spoke.
‘You’ve always been far more afraid of yourself than of any of the terrors in the world outside yourself. Were it the other way around, we’d both have peace.’
He said it kindly, not critically; it was his forlorn wish for peace. Fire hugged her fiddle now with both arms, muting the strings with the fabric of her dress. ‘Archer, you know me. You recognise me. We must get past this thing between us, you must accept how I’ve changed. I could not bear it if by refusing your bed I should also lose your friendship. We were friends before. We must find the way to be friends again.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I know, love. I’m trying. I am.’
He walked away from her then and stared at the sea. He stood for some time, silent. When he walked back she was still standing there, holding her fiddle to her breast. After a moment something like a smile eased the sadness in his face.
‘Will you tell me why you’re playing a different fiddle?’ he said.
It was a good story to tell, and distant enough from today’s feelings that it calmed her in the telling.
THE COMPANY OF Brigan and