Five Flavors of Dumb - Antony John [82]
Suddenly all eyes were on me. “Oh, yes. I was going to mention that,” I said.
“I’m sure you were. So how much have we raised so far?”
“I—I don’t know. I forgot to check.”
“You forgot?”
I nodded mutely.
“Well, you be sure to tell us as soon as you know. We don’t want anyone thinking you’re hiding something from us, and I’m certain Tash and Kallie will want to hear the good news.”
Will began to wander off before Josh had finished, and everyone else followed straight afterward. And even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, I felt like I’d just been found guilty of embezzlement. How did he do it?
Eventually it was just Josh and Ed and me. Ed signaled that he’d meet me at chess club, then ran off before he risked getting into any trouble. As the only member of Dumb to escape Tuesday’s misadventures without getting suspended, he was clearly eager to maintain his clean slate.
“You, Tash, and Kallie—quite the cozy threesome,” said Josh finally.
I ground my teeth. “Ever thought of putting your evil powers to good use?”
Josh shook his head. “No. Have you?” He laughed at my angry expression. “Look, we need to call a truce. Trying to humiliate me like that isn’t going to help Dumb move forward.”
“An honorable sentiment given that you tried to destroy the band two days ago.”
“Ooh, great comeback! Shame there’s no one around to hear it. But then, that’s the story of your life, isn’t it? So assured as long as things are going by the script, but you can’t improvise to save your life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Seattle Today. I saw you hovering at the edge of the studio. You could have stopped things by telling the stage manager to cut the feed. You could have walked onstage and ended it yourself, but you didn’t. When things turned ugly, you froze—not a way to win anyone’s trust. And now everyone’s concerned about where the money from the song sales is going.”
“That’s bull. Everyone knows I’ll share it evenly.”
“Is that what you think their looks meant? Interesting.”
I wanted to hit him so badly. I could probably have gotten in a good right hook before he was able to defend himself. “What is it you really want, Josh?”
“I want to undo my worst mistake. I want us to let Kallie go.”
“I think the whole world got that message on Tuesday.”
“I know, and I really am sorry I did those things. I just got so mad about the way Kallie contributes nothing musically but gets all the attention. I was even willing to break up the band if that’s what it took to get rid of her, but I’m grateful to you for keeping us together.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but the line sounded so genuine. Josh Cooke: snake oil salesman.
“You know I’m not going to get rid of Kallie,” I said.
“And you know that Dumb is on life support if you don’t. We can only go so far with a guitarist who can’t play guitar. Record label executives can spot that kind of thing from a mile off.”
“Forget it, Josh. I’ve already had to threaten her to keep her in the band, and the only reason she’s agreed to keep going now is because she doesn’t want to let me down.”
“If she’s so ambivalent, she won’t be too disappointed when you tell her she’s out.”
“No. Dumb stays as it is. If you’ve gotten sick of one of the flavors, that’s your problem.”
“And if you don’t make it clear to Kallie that Saturday is her final show, I’ll be your problem too.”
I hesitated just a moment. “Oh, really? What are you going to do this time—set fire to the Showbox?”
Josh laughed. “You’re funny, but unimaginative. I can do so much better than that.”
CHAPTER 45
Our first chess game only lasted seven minutes. I was furious at Josh, and channeled my anger into bludgeoning Ed in just fourteen moves. For his part, Ed seemed to be concentrating even more poorly than usual. He was constantly glancing at my hair, but looked away whenever I made eye contact. It was making me feel really self-conscious.
“Are you ZARKINFIB?” I asked.
Ed narrowed his eyes. “I thought that was Baz.”
“No.”
“Oh. But you can’t possibly