Flex_ Do Something Different - Ben [5]
Take two people who each encounter the same problem in their life. One may view it as a personal disaster, the other as a challenge. Their reaction will determine how they respond, the first being beaten down by the problem and the second fired up to overcome it. flex is about understanding that we all have those choices. Whoever we are and whatever our background. And it’s about knowing that when we choose a different behaviour, from the unused 9/10ths of our personality, it brings about a totally different effect in both us and others.
If we flex we can change and expand our world. And with a little conscious effort we have the capacity to dramatically alter the world we live in. flex is world-altering in this sense.
We all have the capacity to be different people. We limit our life by being only ourselves, by using just 1/10th of our personality.
5. People shrink their worlds
Our automatic habits of thought and action lead us to create a world for ourselves that is much smaller than it needs to be. I would even go so far as to say that some people shrink their worlds so much that they create problems and difficulties for themselves. Life produces struggles, demands and worries for us all, of course. But some people attract problems by their behaviours and habits. Their trials and tribulations come in all forms. Unwanted addictions, being overweight or stressed, being unloved, not getting on in life and so on. It’s tempting to assume that the person who’s struggling is a victim of circumstances. Some unfortunate people undoubtedly are. But, more often than not, people are as much a victim of their own habits, repetitive patterns and their inability to yield and flex themselves.
You have probably noticed, for example, that as some people get older their world seems to contract, to get smaller. Some older people seem less tolerant; they are more resistant to change and less open to new things. They will often say that they don’t like change or that they are set in their ways. This is because, by consistently repeating the same patterns of behaviour, their thoughts and actions have become more automated and less conscious. Their world has become smaller in a real sense. No wonder that time flies as we get older, as more and more is done automatically. Ageing is in some ways a self-fulfilling process. It does not have to be like that. Modern medicine now increasingly recognises the value of getting older people to expand their world. They are urged to try new things – take up dancing, get a dog, rent an allotment – to increase their social networks and stay physically and mentally active. Whether this will ward off Alzheimer’s is a question for the gerontologists, but it will make life more fun and more rewarding.
6. We are all capable of change
In this book we will show you how being able to flex could enrich your old age, beat stress, bring you loving relationships and open your mind to opportunities that might otherwise pass you by. We will help you to put it into practice with examples and practical guidance. Meanwhile, there is another reason I urge you to consider the benefits of flex.
In general, I have found that the differences between people in terms of the things about them that are alterable are far greater and more important than the differences between them in terms of the parts that are fixed or harder to change (perhaps their IQ, educational history, genes or age). We cannot change the structural things, but we do have the capability to change many fluid aspects of our own behaviours and personality traits. You no doubt know two