Flim-Flam! Psychics, ESP, Unicorns, and Other Delusions - James Randi [177]
Throw away the Tarot deck and ignore the astrology column. They are products offered you by charlatans who think you are not the marvelous, capable, independent being you are.
Nonsense has reigned too long as Emperor of the Mind. Take a good look. The Emperor has no clothes!
Appendix
Hollywood has the Oscar, television performers their Emmy, and the recording industry the Grammy. I felt that it was only fair to create a suitable award for the billion-dollar business that has earned its fair share of the world's income. Parapsychology is the respectable front of the fortune-tellers, gypsies, quacks, pseudoscientists, and charlatans who labor to produce miracles and hide behind this foggiest of all philosophies. Therefore 1 present my personal annual award, known as the Uri (in honor of a former "psychic" superstar whom you may remember) and given in four categories on the first of April each year.
The categories are:
1. To the Scientist who says or does the silliest thing relating to parapsychology in the preceding twelve months.
2. To the Funding Organization that supports the most useless parapsychological study during the year.
3. To the Media outlet that reports as fact the most outrageous paranormal claim.
4. To the "Psychic" performer who fools the greatest number of people with the least effort in that twelve-month period.
Such periodicals as Fate magazine do not qualify for category 3, since it is conceivable that their editors actually believe what they print and so cannot be held responsible. However, Fate may come in for honorable mention as a result of a particularly imaginative conception.
The trophy consists of a stainless-steel spoon bent in a pleasing curve (paranormally, of course) and supported by a base of plastic. Please note that the base is flimsy and quite transparent.
I am personally responsible for the nomination of the candidates. The sealed envelopes are read by me, while blindfolded, at the official announcement ceremony on April 1. Any baseless claims are rationalized in approved parapsychological fashion, and the results will be published immediately without being checked in any way.
Winners are notified telepathically and are allowed to predict their victory in advance.
It is about time that parapsychology is recognized for what it is. The Uri Award is a step in this direction.
Winners for 1979 were:
Professor William Tiller, of Stanford University, who said that, even though the evidence for psychic events was very shaky and originated with persons of doubtful credibility, it should be taken seriously because there is so much of it.
The McDonnell Foundation, who gave $500,000 to Washington University, St. Louis, to study spoon-bending children.
Prentice-Hall and American International Pictures, for The Amityville Horror, labeled "A True Story.
Philip Jordan, who was hired by Tioga County (New York) Public Defender R. L. Miller to assist in choosing jurors by viewing their "auras."
Winners for 1980 were:
Isaac Bashevis Singer, for declaring belief in demons.
The Millennium Foundation, who gave $1 million to parapsychological research. (In 1982, the award was withdrawn when the foundation decided, instead, to invest the million in a "psychically discovered oil site.It was dry.)
The "That's Incredible" TV show, for declaring a simple magic trick, since admitted as such by the performer, James Hydrick, to bet he real thing.
Dorothy Allison, the housewife/psychic who was called to Atlanta, Georgia, to solve a string of murders. She failed to do anything but "showboat" around town, giving the police 42 different names for the murderer, and was sent home.
Winners for 1981 were:
Charles Tart, parapsychologist, for discovering that