Folly Beach - Dorothea Benton Frank [24]
We hugged each other with all our might and I kissed their cheeks before they went out the kitchen door with Mark.
“If you want to talk about anything, anything at all, just call me, okay?” Alice said.
I saw Patti raise an eyebrow in my direction and I just smiled. I knew the child meant well but it would be a subzero day in the deepest valley of Hades before I’d reveal any fears or doubts I had to her. Too inappropriate.
“I’ll call you when we land,” Russ said, knowing I prayed like a cloistered nun on Good Friday while my children were in the air.
“That would be great, hon,” I said.
“Me too,” Sara said.
“Good,” I said. “Travel safe! Love you!” in one breath and in the next they were gone.
“If you want to talk about anything, anything at all, just call me,” Patti said in her squeaky soprano voice. She was perched on our low breakfast counter, swinging her feet in the open space below it.
“Listen, you terrible old biddy, that child forgets that she’s not my equal but I think her heart is in the right place.”
“Oh? She has a heart?”
“Probably. And the last thing she needs is a neurotic mother-in-law destabilizing her life with whining and wailing.”
“If you say so, but still, don’t you want to just slap the crap out of her?”
“About every five minutes. But I know she can’t help herself so I try to keep my gears in neutral.”
“You’re a better woman than me, Cathryn Mahon Cooper. Listen, have you done any packing?”
“My clothes are in boxes all over the floor of the bedroom.”
“Let’s fill your SUV up and start taking stuff to my house.”
“Okay. No! Wait! I can’t go yet. I didn’t even see Albertina yet this morning!”
“Well, you’d better tell her to hustle herself home because the weather’s not getting any nicer out there.”
“You’re right. I’ll call her on the intercom.”
There was no reply when I buzzed her room.
“I’m just gonna go and check on her.”
“She’s fine,” Patti said.
Patti always thought everyone was fine but then she’d never had children to give her panic attacks or found her husband dead, hanging by his neck.
I moved quickly up the back stairs to the third floor and heard the shower running and her singing something in Portuguese. Albertina had a pretty voice, as clear and feminine as could be and I stood there for a moment listening. She had probably never smoked a cigarette or screamed her head off at a rock concert. Suddenly, I could envision her singing to her babies as I had when mine were little. Oh! What a sweet time in my life that had been. So sweet. In my mind’s eye, it was twenty years ago. I was rocking my children at night to help them settle down for bed. I became sentimental and nostalgic. The time had gone so quickly and I would’ve given anything in the world right then to time-travel to those days even for just five minutes.
Russ was a man now and Sara was a young woman. Sara was going to find her way into the world like we all do. Until Addison’s suicide, I had not really been worrying about her too much as I had when she was younger. But how would losing her father this way impact her in the long run? Russ seemed happy in his life but I worried about him for the same reason. I wondered if and when he and Alice planned to have children. I knew the answer for the immediate future was no time soon, because he stammered and turned red when I asked him, which I tried not to do every time the question popped to mind. The question came to mind every time I heard his voice or saw his face. It was all about Alice establishing her practice and she wanted to wait for a while, until they saved money, until the yard was fenced in, until what? Well actually, I had to give Alice her due. Her womb was her own private property and if she didn’t feel ready for motherhood yet, then she was right to wait. The world did not need any more mothers who didn’t want to be mothers. But I was filled with longing to hold a baby in my arms and I hoped that she would soon feel the same way. Dear Lord, please don’t let their children have Alice’s unfortunate disposition. Thank you, Lord, Amen. I frequently said