Forged of Steele Bundle (Books 1-4) - Brenda Jackson [171]
Jocelyn leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, well, I wish I had held on longer so that Bas could have been my first. I guess in a way he was.”
“Yeah, I’m glad Reese was my first as well,” Leah said quietly, as she came to the table to sit down.
Jocelyn waited a moment before asking, “And how are things going with you and Reese? I can’t help noticing the two of you are spending more and more time together.”
Jocelyn watched a tiny smile touch the corners of Leah’s lips when she said, “That man is so stubborn.” A frown then replaced the smile. “If it was left up to me, we wouldn’t be seeing each other at all. It’s so unfair to him.”
“In what way?”
“Reese is everything a woman could want in a man, and I of all people should know. He’s handsome, kind, considerate and understanding. He should be dating someone who can give him the things he needs, instead of someone like me, a woman who can’t even think about letting him touch me.”
Leah’s finger caressed the handle of her cup before she continued. “We’ve been spending time together for a couple of weeks now and I still can’t let him kiss me, although I know he wants to. And he’s keeping his word by not asking. He gets here at seven every morning to share breakfast with me and before he leaves I know he’s hoping that I’ll open up, be responsive and let him, but I can’t.”
Jocelyn took another sip of her coffee and then said, “At some point you’re going to have to try and put behind you that one bad time with Neil and remember all those other great times with Reese.” Jocelyn’s lips quirked and she added, “I remembered some of your dreams and how you would moan in your sleep. Hell, it made me wish I could have been a fly on the wall during one of those times the two of you were together.”
Her comment had Leah laughing and Jocelyn felt good hearing it. When Leah’s amusement finally cleared she leaned back in her chair. “Trust me, a fly would have died from too much heat. Reese was all that and then some.” A sad smile then touched her lips. “God, I’d love to share some of those times with him again.”
“And you can, Leah. Reese is making it possible for you to do that. All you have to do is reach out to him. Don’t let what Neil did destroy the most precious thing that mattered to you—your love for Reese Singleton.”
A few moments later Jocelyn said, “You know, I use to envy what you had with Reese.”
Leah’s brows lifted. “You did?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew the two of you were in love, all into each other, and I wasn’t there yet with anyone. In fact, I thought the guys who tried talking to me were annoying. I was a daddy’s girl who wanted to build things just like he did. I didn’t have time for relationships. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t occasionally wonder how things could be between a man and woman.”
Leah gave her a wry smile. “And I’m sure with Bas you’re making up for anything you missed out on.”
Jocelyn laughed, thinking of all the things she and Bas had done over the past few weeks; some were outright scandalous, but he had assured her whatever a couple agreed to do in the bedroom was their business. “Yes, you can say that, but what I’m sharing with him isn’t forever.”
“It can be if you want it. I’ve seen the two of you together. I think he’s quite taken with you. Even Reese mentioned that he was.”
Jocelyn shook her head. “Bas is taken with the moment just like I am. We’re mature enough to know that one day he’s going to pack up and return to that life he has in Charlotte. And I have a lot to do here. This is where I belong, here in Newton Grove, keeping Dad’s dream alive.”
“And what about your dream? What about love?” Leah asked quietly.
Jocelyn shrugged. “I don’t have any dreams and I have no desire to fall in love. I live for the moment. That way you don’t worry about what happens when things don’t turn out the way you want. And as far as love is concerned, maybe the bug will hit me one day but I’m not in a hurry. What Bas and I are sharing is for today. I’m not planning on any tomorrows.