Fourth Comings_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [53]
“You waited until now to designate someone? She’s four years old. What if something had happened already?”
“Oh,” she said, looking down. “Until now, Mom and Dad were her legal guardians. But…”
I knew what was on the other end of that “But.”
“Not this again!”
“I have reasons to be worried….”
“Mom is not leaving Dad just because you caught the wrong episode of Oprah.”
“Jessie,” she said with big-sister irritation. “All the Signs are there.”
The Signs That My Mom Is About to Leave My Dad
1. She’s Asserting Her Financial Independence
My mom brings in more income than my dad’s post-retirement pension by redecorating, or “staging,” homes for sale in a way that makes them more attractive to potential buyers.
“You think it’s just a coincidence she named it Darling’s Designs for Leaving?” my sister argued.
2. She’s Improving Her Physical Appearance
The Botox was one thing. But now my mom’s face is so full of high-tech fillers that on a molecular level, it more closely resembles my running shoe than anything animal in origin.
“She’s a GILF,” my sister said.
“Ack,” I said.
3. She’s Distancing Herself from Her Spouse
It’s true, my mother is hardly ever at the condo anymore.
“But I saw them having sex!” I cried.
“Can you please stop reminding me that you saw Mom and Dad having sex?” Bethany snapped.
“You just called her a GILF,” I shot back.
“You walked in on them two years ago,” she pointed out. “And that doesn’t prove anything, anyway.”
I know she’s right. I’ve convinced myself that the only upside to walking in on my parents having sex was knowing that they still loved each other, despite all evidence to the contrary. I know it’s naive to believe that one afternoon delight is enough to keep any unhappy couple together, but it’s all I’ve got.
“I’ve seen it before, Jessie.” Bethany nodded sagely. “I know the cycle.”
“Where have you seen it before? And talk shows don’t count.”
“With one of my friends,” she said.
“Dierdre?” I whispered, shooting a furtive look at the closed bedroom door.
“No!” she said, her eyes exploding with surprise. “Why Dierdre?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe because her husband was just totally hitting on me.”
“He was?”
“Yes! Ack! He was!”
“Are you sure he wasn’t just being friendly?”
“No, he was being skeevy.”
“Wow,” she said, looking off into the middle distance for a moment.
“Okay, so who is leaving her husband?”
“Liesl,” she said.
“Liesl?” I was surprised. “But she and her husband have sex ten times a week!”
“Again with the sex,” Bethany said. “Is that all you think mature relationships are built on? I hope not for the sake of your future with Marcus.”
(I suppose I could have told her right then about the proposal, but it just didn’t seem appropriate.)
“Anyway, even if I’m misreading the signs, and I’m just being totally crazy here, it doesn’t change the fact that Mom and Dad are getting older and aren’t the best choice anymore.” Bethany took my hand and looked me in the eyes. “You are.”
“And Grant agrees?’
“Well, yes,” she said with a sigh. “He doesn’t think much of his own parents’ child-rearing skills. And his brother is the eternal frat boy. Grant says that the idea of him being Marin’s legal guardian would make an amusing Adam Sandler movie, but in real life? Not so much.”
I wanted to tell her that the idea of me being Marin’s legal guardian was like a Kate Hudson movie, only without flattering lighting and designer wardrobe. But it wasn’t a time for jokes.
“Even though I’m single? Shouldn’t Marin have a father figure?”
Bethany mustered a rueful laugh. “Her father figure is hardly around as it is.” (I’m glad she said it before I did.) “And you make it sound like you’re going to be single forever….”
(FOREVER.)
“So me.”
“So you.”
I don’t know how long we sat next to each other, listening to the sounds of the party above, gazing out the window into the void. Then I finally responded.
“I need to think.”
“Don’t stress yourself about this,” Bethany said. “Don’t think too much.”
(Where have I heard that before?)
thirty-five