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anesthesia and tries in a medical way to comfort

me—everything in the room is white in fact I

can’t even see anyone just white objects—

they cut me open—Strasberg with Hohenberg’s ass.

and there is absolutely nothing there—Strasberg is

deeply disappointed but more even—academically amazed

that he had made such a mistake. He thought there was going

to be so much—more than he had ever dreamed possible in

almost anyone but

instead there was absolutely nothing—devoid

of every human living feeling thing—the only thing

that came out was so finely cut sawdust—like

out of a raggedy ann doll—and the sawdust spills

all over the floor & table and Dr. H is puzzled

because suddenly she realizes that this is a

new type case of puple. The patient (pupil—or student—I started to write) existing of complete emptiness

Strasberg’s dreams & hopes for theater are fallen.

Dr. H’s dreams and hopes for a permanent psychiatric cure is given up—Arthur is disappointed—let down +

For Dr H.

tell about that

dream of the horrible repulsive man—who is trying to

lean too close to me in

elevator—and my panic

and then all my thought

despising him—does that mean

I’m attached

to him

He even looks

like he has

a venereal

disease.

Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone

You’re an old smoothie

Body and soul?

Who’s sorry now

Easy living

When I’m not near the boy I Love 259

While we’re young 262

I know where I’m going and who’s going with me?

I cried for you

You do something

The gentleman is a dope

I’ll never be the same

He’s funny that way

too marvelous for words

Don’t worry about me

What is there to say

But not for me

Easy to love

Have you ever been lonely

I’ve got you under my skin

Note: This is a set of song titles. Numbers 259 and 262 are the corresponding numbers to a fake book, or an anthology of lyrics and chord progressions from which musicians could improvise. It is not known why Marilyn made this list; possibly they were songs she wished to perform.

Dear Claude Claude,

That’s right—I know exactly what I’m doing and I know mean

I’ve just written Dear Claude, Claude—it’s because meanwhile besides

“The way of a country man is hard, his training strict, his progress slow, his disappointments many.” If in fact he is to survive succeed he must should “give it up.” Are you prepared? I am interested only per one “borderline” to the other. in knowing from one of course it’s easier simpler to be a member of the Mr. Johnson club because for when one could probably get kicked out of the club for stress, or strain or exertion as probably forbidden—

but then how is one to know since there are no rules I ask this question as a member of good standing of Borderline Anonymous also as a newly chartered member of the Mr. Johnson club. It’s easier even to be a member of the M.J. Club where for any kind of exertion, stress or strain you’re kicked out.

Is it/this true that I am under the right impression My love to Hedda and Patty and Candy and Bammoo. Come back if you haven’t come back from Port Jefferson yet (hope you’ve)—why don’t you.

You’re needed here.

looking forward to seeing you all

Love

Marilyn

P.S. In a few short days I’m sending you a reminder—to remind you of something of me mostly

This might very well serve as (the)/(a) possible watchword for some other weekend don’t you think or do you think I’ve gone too far

Re—reminder [drawing of envelope]

84 Remsen St.

Brooklyn

Heights

Notes:

Marilyn nicknamed her friend Norman Rosten “Claude” because he looked so much like the actor Claude Rains. He and his wife, Hedda, had a daughter called Patricia (Patty). At this time they lived in Brooklyn, at 84 Remsen Street.

Bam-Moo and Candy were the names of the Rostens’ dog and cat.

The Mr. Johnson club was invented by Norman Rosten and Marilyn; the name refers to Rosten’s play Mister Johnson, based on Joyce Cary’s novel, which embodied for Marilyn the spirit of innocence destroyed by cynicism and greed.

On the balcony of the Ambassador Hotel,