Fragments_ Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters - Marilyn Monroe [7]
anesthesia and tries in a medical way to comfort
me—everything in the room is white in fact I
can’t even see anyone just white objects—
they cut me open—Strasberg with Hohenberg’s ass.
and there is absolutely nothing there—Strasberg is
deeply disappointed but more even—academically amazed
that he had made such a mistake. He thought there was going
to be so much—more than he had ever dreamed possible in
almost anyone but
instead there was absolutely nothing—devoid
of every human living feeling thing—the only thing
that came out was so finely cut sawdust—like
out of a raggedy ann doll—and the sawdust spills
all over the floor & table and Dr. H is puzzled
because suddenly she realizes that this is a
new type case of puple. The patient (pupil—or student—I started to write) existing of complete emptiness
Strasberg’s dreams & hopes for theater are fallen.
Dr. H’s dreams and hopes for a permanent psychiatric cure is given up—Arthur is disappointed—let down +
For Dr H.
tell about that
dream of the horrible repulsive man—who is trying to
lean too close to me in
elevator—and my panic
and then all my thought
despising him—does that mean
I’m attached
to him
He even looks
like he has
a venereal
disease.
Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone
You’re an old smoothie
Body and soul?
Who’s sorry now
Easy living
When I’m not near the boy I Love 259
While we’re young 262
I know where I’m going and who’s going with me?
I cried for you
You do something
The gentleman is a dope
I’ll never be the same
He’s funny that way
too marvelous for words
Don’t worry about me
What is there to say
But not for me
Easy to love
Have you ever been lonely
I’ve got you under my skin
Note: This is a set of song titles. Numbers 259 and 262 are the corresponding numbers to a fake book, or an anthology of lyrics and chord progressions from which musicians could improvise. It is not known why Marilyn made this list; possibly they were songs she wished to perform.
Dear Claude Claude,
That’s right—I know exactly what I’m doing and I know mean
I’ve just written Dear Claude, Claude—it’s because meanwhile besides
“The way of a country man is hard, his training strict, his progress slow, his disappointments many.” If in fact he is to survive succeed he must should “give it up.” Are you prepared? I am interested only per one “borderline” to the other. in knowing from one of course it’s easier simpler to be a member of the Mr. Johnson club because for when one could probably get kicked out of the club for stress, or strain or exertion as probably forbidden—
but then how is one to know since there are no rules I ask this question as a member of good standing of Borderline Anonymous also as a newly chartered member of the Mr. Johnson club. It’s easier even to be a member of the M.J. Club where for any kind of exertion, stress or strain you’re kicked out.
Is it/this true that I am under the right impression My love to Hedda and Patty and Candy and Bammoo. Come back if you haven’t come back from Port Jefferson yet (hope you’ve)—why don’t you.
You’re needed here.
looking forward to seeing you all
Love
Marilyn
P.S. In a few short days I’m sending you a reminder—to remind you of something of me mostly
This might very well serve as (the)/(a) possible watchword for some other weekend don’t you think or do you think I’ve gone too far
Re—reminder [drawing of envelope]
84 Remsen St.
Brooklyn
Heights
Notes:
Marilyn nicknamed her friend Norman Rosten “Claude” because he looked so much like the actor Claude Rains. He and his wife, Hedda, had a daughter called Patricia (Patty). At this time they lived in Brooklyn, at 84 Remsen Street.
Bam-Moo and Candy were the names of the Rostens’ dog and cat.
The Mr. Johnson club was invented by Norman Rosten and Marilyn; the name refers to Rosten’s play Mister Johnson, based on Joyce Cary’s novel, which embodied for Marilyn the spirit of innocence destroyed by cynicism and greed.
On the balcony of the Ambassador Hotel,