From Here to Eternity_ The Restored Edit - Jones, James [34]
The slamming door broke the rapture, and she found that she was staring into the eyes of her own deathmask, pale and wan with all the blood sucked out by a modern vampire called Embalmer, leaving only the gashed bloody wound that was her lipsticked mouth. It was urging her to hurry up and find the thing.
Leave me, Mask, she said at it.
If, replied the Mask, you shrink from evil when its cloak is flung upon your shoulders, the more closely will it wrap its suffocating folds around you.
She laid aside the brush and covered with her hands the face that haunted her most of all with its futility of emptiness, hearing the footsteps of Military Doom coming swift across the dining room.
Holmes barged into the room, his hat still on his head.
“Oh,” he said, guiltily. “Hello. I didnt know you were home. I just came in to change my uniform.”
Karen picked up the brush and went back to her hair. “The car is parked outside,” she said.
“It is?” Holmes said. “I didnt see it.”
“I went over to the Company this morning,” Karen said, “looking for you.”
“What for?” Holmes said. “You know I dont like to have you over there, around the men.”
“I wanted you to get some things for me,” she lied. “I thought you’d be there.”
“I had some business to attend to before I went in,” Holmes lied. He undid his tie and threw it on the bed and sat down with the boot jack. Karen did not answer. “That was all right, wasnt it?” he protested.
“But of course,” she said. “I have no right to inquire into your actions. That was the agreement.”
“Then why bring it up?”
“Because I wanted you to know I’m not as stupid as you maintain all women are.”
Holmes stood the boots up by the bed and stripped off sweat-damp shirt and breeches. “Now what does that mean? What are you accusing me of now?”
“Of nothing,” Karen smiled. “Its no longer any of my business how many you go out with, is it? But I wish for God’s sake you could just be honest about it once.”
“Now,” he cried disgustedly, seeing the excitement of the riding date fading rapidly before him, “Now! All I did was come home to change my uniform and get some lunch. Thats all.”
“I thought,” she said, “you didnt know I was here.”
“I didnt, goddam it. I just thought, you might be here,” he finished lamely, flustered at being caught in the lie. “God damn,” he blustered. “Other women. What brings that on this time? How many times do I have to tell you I havent any other women before you’ll believe me?”
“Dana,” Karen said. “Give me credit for a little brains.” She laughed, and looking in the mirror, broke off suddenly, shocked at the hatred that was on her face.
“If I had them,” he said, self-pity in his voice, putting on fresh socks, “dont you think I’d admit it to you? Theres no reason I should try to hide it, is there? the way things are between us now?” he asked her bitterly. “What right have you to always be accusing me of that?”
“What right?” Karen said, looking at him in the mirror.
Under the indictment of her eyes Holmes cringed. “All right,” he said dejectedly. “That again. How long will it be, I wonder, before I am allowed to live that down? How many times do I have to tell you, It Was An Accident?”
“That makes it all all right, I suppose,” she said. “That takes all the scars away, and we can just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“I didnt say that,” Holmes cried. “I know what its done to you. But how was I to know? I didnt know it myself until too late. What more is there for me to say, except I’m sorry?” Looking back at her in the mirror he tried to be indignant, but had to drop his eyes. The uniform on the floor shamed him with the existence of the wet spots of his body water on its cloth.
“Please, Dana,” Karen said shrilly, franticness in her voice. “You know how much I hate to talk about it. I’m trying to forget it.”
“All right,” Holmes said. “You brought it up. I dont like to think about it either, but neither one of us will ever be allowed to forget it. I’ve lived with it for eight years now.” He stood