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By Root 409 0

to somebody else where it got to The Gallagher Report where Gallagher did a whole series of columns on it. Wells, Rich might be pitching an account and another agency also pitching the account might say to the prospective client, ‘What do you want to go to Wells, Rich for? Mary Wells has only a thirty-day contract. She can walk out any time she wants to.’ To combat this kind of thing she just signed a ten-year contract with her own company. Now, nobody can zap Wells, Rich with the line about Mary Wells leaving any more. A client can say to himself, ‘For the next ten years I have Mary.’ So she’s set and she’s going to do very well. But figure how nasty the business is when she had to sign such a longterm contract to combat the rumors. And of course, when she did sign, it made big news with all the trade papers.

Guys in an agency try to knock off other guys in the same agency by using rumors. I once worked for a place where the executive vice-president – a guy I’ll call Hunter – was trying to zap the president of the agency, whom I’ll call Duffy. Week in, week out, Hunter spread rumors that he was going to become president. Duffy was slowly getting zapped all over the place. The rumors were of the kind with the intimate, quiet business details that only the two guys knew about. Whenever anyone questioned Hunter about these terrible rumors he would shrug his shoulders and say, ‘Who, me? I don’t even know how that started.’

Hunter hasn’t got the job yet. But he’s going to get it eventually. Day in, day out, another rumor. You’d open up The Gallagher Report and you’d read, ‘Hunter is going to get Duffy’s job.’ Or, ‘Hunter is a good replacement for Duffy.’ Or, ‘Duffy is getting along in years and must be concerned about the National Clambake business, which isn’t as solid as it used to be.’ The average person reading this must wonder, ‘Why doesn’t Duffy walk into Hunter’s office one day and punch him in the mouth?’ That’s not the way they play the game. Duffy will see Hunter and say, ‘Hunter, how are you?’ Hunter says, ‘Fine, but I’m very upset by all these rumors about you. I can’t imagine how they’re starting.’ Duffy simply cannot fire Hunter. Hunter has a contract and is well set up at the agency. He can’t be fired without a meeting of the entire board of directors.

One day Hunter and I had to take a cab together on an appointment. He started, ‘Jesus, I don’t know how these rumors about Duffy and me are starting. Did you see the one today in The Gallagher Report?’ I said, ‘Hunter, cut the crap. I know where the rumors come from. You’re sending them in.’ He sighed and said, ‘Ah, let’s change the subject.’ That was it, just change the subject.

The outsider who reads about this kind of infighting might be horrified, but strangely enough I enjoy it. I think it’s a lot of fun. I like it when somebody zaps me. The guy who said we weren’t taking small accounts did a beautiful job – he really got me. He put me in a position where I couldn’t fight back and I can admire the job he did. The thing to remember about the entire rumor game is that you can’t touch a solid account and you can’t bother a solid advertising man. A rumor will start, the trade paper will call the advertising manager of the account, and the advertising manager will say, ‘Shove it.’ Take Talon Zippers at Delehanty, Kurnit & Geller. Talon is very happy; they’re getting good advertising and they’re content. They could start a million rumors but those people are not going to move. Rumors only occur when there is something wrong with the advertising being done for the account.

Rumors are especially heavy nowadays with the revolution going on in the business. The older agencies are slipping and they’re getting desperate. Therefore, plenty of rumors. The younger agencies are aggressive and really pretty tough. Therefore, plenty of rumors. The guy in the older agency who is trying to hold on is vulnerable to rumors. He fights back by sending out a lot of rumors. All of this is followed by the young guy trying to build an agency who is going to make it if he has to stomp