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Wright claims that women are committing crimes because feminism has taught them that “women should not be dependent on others” and that “they don’t need to be dependent on a husband,” which inevitably forces them to “fend for themselves.”7

Got that, girls? Without a husband to depend on, you’ll be selling crack in no time!

For something that is so tired and outdated, feminism certainly seems to be doing a lot of damage, huh?

Obviously there’s an awful lot of effort being put into discrediting the f-word—but why all the fuss? If folks didn’t see feminism as a threat—and a powerful one—they wouldn’t spend so much time putting it down, which is part of what attracted me to feminism in the first place. I wanted to know what all the brouhaha was about.

It’s important to remember that all of these stereotypes and scare tactics serve a specific purpose. If you think feminism is all about big fat ugly dykes, or is dead or racist, then you’ll stay far the hell away from it.

’Cause don’t forget—there are a lot of people benefiting from your feeling like shit about yourself. Think about it: If you don’t feel fat, you won’t buy firming lotions and diet pills and the like. If you don’t feel stupid, you might speak out against all the screwy laws that adversely affect women. It pays—literally—to keep women half there. And god forbid you get involved in anything that would make you wonder why in the world women are having surgery to make their vaginas “prettier.”8 (Sorry, I couldn’t help but mention it; it’s too freaky not to.)

The solution? Don’t fall for it. If feminism isn’t for you, fine. But find that out for yourself. I’m betting that you’re more likely to be into something that encourages you to recognize that you’re already pretty badass than something that insists you’re a fat, dumb chick.

Femi-wha?

There are so many stereotypes about feminism, and so many different definitions of it, that what feminism actually is gets insanely confusing—even for women who have been working on women’s issues for years. But I always was a fan of the dictionary definition. And I promise this is the only time I’ll be quoting the frigging dictionary:

fem·i·nism

1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

2. The movement organized around this belief.9

Hmm . . . don’t see anything about man-hating in there. Or hairy legs. Obviously, there are tons of different kinds of feminism and schools of thought, but I’d say the above is enough to get you started. Besides, at the end of the day, feminism is really something you define for yourself.

Sisterhood, My Ass

No matter how clear-cut (or how complex) feminism can be, not all women are feminists by virtue of having ovaries. And that’s just fine by me. I realized this in a big way recently. I was quoted in Rebecca Traister’s 2005 Salon .com article entitled “The F-Word,”10 airing my feelings about the word “feminist”—and I got a little pissy. “Part of me gets so angry at younger women who are nervous about feminism because they’re afraid that boys won’t like them. . . . Part of me wants to say, ‘Yeah, someone’s going to call you a lesbian. Someone’s going to say you’re a fat, ugly dyke. Suck it up.’”11 My attempt to strongly defend the word “feminism” didn’t go over well with a lot of people. One woman actually posted a homophobic rant of a response to Salon.com:

❂ I’ll call myself a feminist when the fat, mannish dykes who do run around calling themselves “Feminist” very loudly and constantly concede that my decision to groom and dress myself as a twenty-first-century professional woman is every bit as valid a choice as their decision to become stereotypical jailhouse bulldaggers. Ovaries only make you female, they do not make you woman, and I am a woman. In other words, I will call myself a feminist when those mannabees are as proud of and joyful in their womanhood as I am in mine . . . Until then, fuck off and take your hairy legs with