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they want to give birth in hospitals at all, C-section or otherwise. As women tire of the impersonal hospital setting, in which they’re made to feel unwanted, and even diseased, midwives and doulas are becoming increasingly popular. I’m all for giving birth in a comfortable environment surrounded by supportive people, not only because women should have as many options as they can when it comes to having a kid, but also because we shouldn’t be made to fear the birthing process—as if we’ll drop dead if we don’t go to a hospital to have a baby.

Organizations like the New York-based BirthNet actually say that 90 percent of pregnancies are natural births that don’t need hospital assistance.12 They encourage the use of registered midwives, who can help women give birth at home or at a birthing center. (And by the way, a lot of midwife birthing centers are based in or around hospitals.)

But it’s not over once you have the baby. Oh, no. Now enters a whole new set of problems, again relating to being the perfect mommy.

My pet peeve? Folks who rag on nursing mothers. This has been in the news a lot lately because moms are not taking shit anymore (and I love it). Moms—some of whom are calling themselves “lactivists”—are holding nurse-ins across the country to bring attention to stores and companies that won’t let women breastfeed.

For example, a mom in Boston was asked to leave a Victoria’s Secret dressing room because she was breastfeeding. Local mothers reacted by holding a nurse-in; the store ended up apologizing, and they got plenty of press.13 Awesome. A woman was recently even thrown off a Delta flight when she refused to stop breastfeeding.14 So we’re supposed to be good moms and take care of our kids (and everyone knows the breast is best!), but when we want to do it in public—gross! You know, because boobies are for boys, not babies.

Some states, thankfully, have taken action by creating laws ensuring that breastfeeding women have rights. In fact, in a move to aid breastfeeding moms against those who find feeding babies objectionable, Kansas health officials decided to give out cards with a message: “A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.”15 If a woman is asked to leave a public place for breastfeeding, the back of the card has numbers where she can report the incident. Sweet.

37% of all births in 2004 were to unmarried women; 55% of the births among mothers ages 20-24 were to unmarried women. Some say it’s because Americans are shunning marriage and just living together. Huh.

The point is, this is the kind of shit that mothers have to put up with constantly—no matter how old their kids are. Whether it’s breastfeeding, giving birth, work choices, childcare choices, or college choices, there’s just no winning.

Pregnancy Is the New Black

I just had to mention the insanity that is celebrity pregnancy- watching these days. It’s the new glamorization of motherhood. Whether it’s the trend of “bump watching” in the tabloids (assuming that the post-lunch sandwich stomach is a bouncing baby-to-be) or the adoption craze, society loves it some celeb mommies.

Now there are even ads for nonalcoholic beer that feature “pregnant” models. I say “pregnant” ’cause the bellies are Photoshopped in. Gross.

I think our obsession with pregnancy and celebrities just goes to show how far the “perfect mommy” thing has gone. We look up to celebs for fashion, beauty, and style—and now we look up to them as parents. More than kind of weird, I know.

Underappreciated Mothers: The New Norm

For all the pressure women have on them to become perfect mommies, you would think that society would make it easy (or easier) on us. But hells no. Like I’ve mentioned before, there’s a Mommy Wage Gap, problems with paying for childcare, and issues of negotiating work life with motherhood.

I mean, just the fact that women with children make seventy-three cents to a man’s dollar (single mothers make fifty-six to sixty-six cents to a man’s dollar), while women without children make about ninety cents to a man’s dollar, is