Full Frontal Feminism_ A Young Women's Guide to Why Feminism Matters - Jessica Valenti [56]
When I think third wave, I think of academic stuff, like different feminist theories (queer, postcolonial). But the less dry stuff associated with third-wavers is magazines like the fabulous BUST and Bitch, books like Manifesta, and (swoon) Kathleen Hanna scrawling SLUT across her stomach.
Of course, reclaiming words like “slut,” “bitch,” and “cunt” doesn’t necessarily sit well with everyone. There’s the misconception that, somehow, using words that have traditionally been used to disparage women means we’re falling in line with sexism. But what young women are really doing is taking the power out of those words by making them our own.
The same argument can be made for things like makeup and high heels. There are young feminists who get dolled up and say that this can be empowering. That’s cool with me, though some (usually older) feminists say we’re fooling ourselves. The thing is, I’m a fan of makeup and heels—and while I don’t think that makes me any less of a feminist, I don’t think it makes me any more of one, either.
I know that certain things I enjoy—traditional “feminine” things like makeup—are created by a system that says I’m not good enough without it. Blogger Jill Filipovic (of Feministe) nails it:
❂ I like my mascara, and I’m not going to waste time feeling bad about it, but I’m also not going to convince myself that long eyelashes are totally empowering and other women would be so much happier and more empowered if only they could have a makeover. I’m also not going to be spoken down to by women who should be my allies as they try and tell me that my behavior is unequivocally “wrong” and anti-feminist. 13
The problem is, there’s still a lot of infighting—particularly of a generational kind—about what a “real” feminist is. Honestly, I’m so fucking sick and tired of people telling me how to be an appropriate feminist—or what a feminist looks like. In the same way it’s stupid to say that all feminists are hairy man-haters, it’s stupid to say that women who rock heels and mascara aren’t hardcore enough or are acquiescing to sexism.
Yes, we should analyze why we do the things we do and how they’re related to sexism, but bashing each other in feminist pissing contests is pretty much the dumbest thing ever. Having a feminist judge you for what you look like or choose to do aesthetically is no different from having a sexist man do it. Except maybe for the damage it does to the movement.
The same thing goes for opinions on controversial issues like porn. Some are going to say that if you’re not against porn, you’re not feminist enough (this tends to happen a lot in second-wave/third-wave arguments). Everyone has their own version of feminism, everyone has their idea of what feminism is. It’s not so important that we all agree all the time as it is that we all respect each other’s opinions. How else can we move forward without killing each other?
This isn’t to say that the third wave is all pop culture all the time, or all generational tension. To a large extent, the third wave is a response to the backlash (must read: Susan Faludi’s Backlash 14) that came about after the second wave. Third-wave feminists are as “serious” as those who came before us, really. What I love about the third wave is that we’ve learned how to find feminism in everything—and make it our own.
A note on academic feminism: So, I have a master’s degree in women’s and gender studies. And my time in grad school and in academia was invaluable in a lot of ways. It helped me develop my feminist identity and gave me a firmer understanding of my politics. That said, academic feminism isn’t for me. I like activism. My parents