Full Frontal Feminism_ A Young Women's Guide to Why Feminism Matters - Jessica Valenti [77]
❂ Be on the lookout for “organizations” in your state trying to push long-term birth control and sterilization on women. Make local media aware of their agenda and how it’s intrinsically anti-woman.
❂ Find out about the parental notification/consent laws in your state and ask your local reproductive rights organization how you can help younger women in your area.
❂ Remember that anti-choicers, at the heart of it, are just folks who are horrified at the idea of premarital sex. They’re not the arbiters of morality, just a bunch of folks who think girls should be forever virgins.
Violence
❂ Remember that there is no such thing as a rapeable offense. I don’t care what you were wearing, how drunk you were, or how much hooking up you may have done beforehand. It’s not your fault.
❂ Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer! There are plenty of rape crisis and domestic violence centers that need help—even a little bit. When I was a rape crisis counselor, I volunteered one night a month. Not a lot of time, but it makes a huge difference.
❂ If you talk to your friends about rape, bring up rape culture. Don’t let violence against women be talked about as isolated, nonsystematic incidents.
❂ Don’t stay with a person who hits you, emotionally abuses you, or threatens you in any way.
❂ Be safe, but remember that you shouldn’t have to live your life by a rape schedule.
❂ Be proactive. Start an anti-violence group in your area—whether it’s free rides home for local women or a counseling group or an awareness-raising class for men. Do something that appeals to you and helps women.
❂ Holla back. Like that blog I mentioned that has women take pictures of street harassers,1 make men accountable for their public actions. Start your own holla back site!
Work and Money
❂ Do something fun for Equal Pay Day (usually the last Tuesday in April). One idea: Throw a party where men have to pay twenty-five cents more for drinks than women to bring attention to the wage gap.
❂ Call bullshit on opt-out articles—if your local media runs a piece on women “choosing” to stay home, contact them and let them know what you think.
❂ Start fighting for childcare now! Look to organizations like Family Initiative and Child Care Inc. for information and ways to get involved. It may seem early to start worrying about kids, but you don’t want to be stuck with lousy childcare options if you decide to go the mommy route. And if you’re not going to have kids, do it for the other women who will.
❂ Work your ass off. Doing what you love is fulfilling; work is fulfilling. And if staying at home and taking care of kids is something you can do and want to do, cool. But don’t underestimate the pride and satisfaction that come with working at a job you love.
Dating and Beyond
❂ Pay for yourself. Just suck it up and do it.
❂ If you want to get married, cool. But think about the not-so-cool traditions associated with getting hitched: the ownership, the consumerism, the focus on glitz over love. If you’re going to do it, do it for the marriage, not the ring.
❂ For the love of god, don’t change your last name. At least do me a favor and hyphenate.
❂ Fight for the right for everyone to get married, ’cause it’s hard to have fun when everyone can’t join in. The Human Rights Campaign is a good place to start. So is just talking about same-sex marriage with your friends.
❂ Don’t date guys who scoff at feminism. They will end up being disappointments in life, love, and bed. Trust me.
❂ Go see The Vagina Monologues on Valentine’s Day (proceeds go to organizations that aim to end violence against women). Bring a date. Don’t buy cheap chocolates (okay, that one is mine).
Guys
❂ If we don’t want to have to live by sexist standards, we can’t expect men to, either. The next time you find yourself judging a guy for not being “manly” enough, stop and think about what that means.
❂ Talk to the men in your life