Fun and Games - Duane Swierczynski [29]
There was no air in here at all, like he was a kid hiding under a thick blanket, and the boogeyman was outside, and as much as he wanted a lungful of clean, fresh air he didn’t dare lower the blanket.
Frantic, Hardie’s fingers searched for a seam, a zipper, something, anything. But his fingers didn’t appear to be working right. Finally his fingertips found the opposite end of the zipper, the one without the little thing you pull on. He pushed it with his index finger, trying to get it to move. Come on. His finger trembled. He pushed harder. He needed air. If he didn’t get air soon, he would pass out again. And this time he probably wouldn’t wake up. Hardie pushed again. The zipper moved a quarter of an inch. It was enough.
He jabbed his finger through the opening and ripped downward, which killed his chest, but it didn’t matter, because his chest would really fucking be out of luck if he didn’t get any air into his lungs.
Number of accidental suffocations per year: 3,300.
Hardie sucked in oxygen greedily, then pulled the plastic womb down over his head, then shoulders, then body. Hardie realized where he was. By the front door. He’d passed out here and somebody had put him in a plastic body bag. That same somebody had just left him here, like garbage waiting to go out. Hardie didn’t know whether to be pissed or insulted.
Hardie didn’t know what time it was—power was still out. He couldn’t even hazard a guess as to how much time had passed. Sun was still up.
He listened; the house was eerily silent.
And then he saw he wasn’t the only thing on the floor.
Next to him, in another black plastic bag, was something suspiciously body-shaped. And next to that bag was another black bag, too small for a body but big enough for, say, a human head.
Hardie opened the zipper on the bigger bag first, fully expecting to see the face of a famous actress. In which case he would owe her a serious apology. Because she was right. Hardie should never have opened the door. He should have stayed hidden in the bathroom.
Instead, it was a guy inside, and it was a fuzzy second or two before Hardie realized, oh shit, the delivery dude. Somehow they’d dosed them both and wrapped them up in body bags faster than you could say duck, you suckas. Which meant that the small black plastic bag probably contained his luggage. Maybe his shoes.
The house was utterly still. Was somebody in the house on another floor? Or were they outside, getting ready to walk back inside at any moment?
They.
Hardie climbed to his feet, his joints popping, head swimming. He half expected to look down and see his body still there, proving he was dead and this was an out-of-body experience. Next he’d see a bright light up on the ceiling and hear some short, pudgy lady telling him not to go into it. But no. There was no body on the floor; Hardie was still using it.
A few steps forward, toward the front door.
Just go, he told himself. Don’t think. Go. Walk away from the house. Remember, they stole your car. So you have to walk. Or run. Running would be good. I mean, what else are you going to do—stay?
Stay and do what?
You can barely breathe. You’ve been beaten and impaled and sprayed with some knockout shit and left for dead. The smart thing to do is not be the hero. Remember what that got you last time? It damn near got your stupid ass killed, that’s what. It got everybody else’s asses killed. You’re never going to forgive yourself for that, and you know what? You shouldn’t.
So what are you going to do? March back inside, charge through the house, your chest bleeding and your head still swimming, to try and play the hero? They’ve probably already got her. She’s probably in a plastic bag, just like you were a few seconds ago. They’re just cleaning up, because they’re anal killer types who don’t want to leave any forensic evidence. When they finish, they’ll come back up for you. So now’s a good time to leave. You want to be a hero? Leave the house and run until you find a cop. Report everything. Let the professionals handle it.
Get out. Get out now, you idiot.