Games of State - Tom Clancy [82]
"It wasn't another man," she said.
"It doesn't matter. Can you begin to understand that level of frustration?"
Now Nancy blushed slightly. "Yes," she said, "because I felt it too. But I was in terrible trouble. If I'd stayed, or if I told you where I'd gone "
"What?" Hood demanded. "What would have happened? How could anything have been worse than what did happen?" His voice cracked and he had to fight back sobs. He half-turned from her.
"I'm sorry," Nancy said more emphatically.
She came closer and stroked his cheek again. This time he didn't remove her hand.
"Paul, I stole the blueprints for a new chip my company was going to make and sold them to an overseas firm. In exchange for the blueprints, I got a ton of money. We would have been married, we would have been rich, and you would have been a deadly-great politician."
"Is that what you think I wanted?" Hood asked. "To be successful on someone else's efforts?"
Nancy shook her head. "You never would have known. I wanted you to be able to run for office without worrying about money. I felt that you could do great things, Paul, if you didn't have to worry about special interest groups and campaign contributions. I mean, you could get away with that sort of thing then."
"I can't believe you did that."
"I know. That's why I didn't tell you. And after everything fell apart, that's one reason I still couldn't tell you. On top of losing you, I didn't want your scorn." She said, "You could be pretty judgmental about things illegal in those days. Even little things. Remember how upset you were when I got that parking ticket outside the Cinerama Dome when we save Rollerball? The ticket you'd warned me I'd get?"
"I remember," Hood said. Of course I remember, Nancy. I remember everything we did
She lowered her hand, turned away. "Anyway, I did get found out somehow. A friend-- you remember Jessica."
Hood nodded. He could still see those pearls she was always wearing, smell her Chanel, as if she were standing right beside him.
"Jess was working late," Nancy said, "and as I was getting ready to meet you at the movies she phoned to tell me two FBI agents had been there. She said the men were on their way to question me. I only had time to gather up my passport, some clothes, and my Bank-Americard, write you that short note, and get the hell out of my apartment." She looked down. "Out of the country."
"Out of my life," Hood said. He pressed his lips together tightly. He wasn't sure he wanted Nancy to continue. Each word made him suffer, tortured him with the blighted hopes of a twenty-year-old man in love.
"I said there was another reason I didn't contact you," Nancy said. She looked up again. "I assumed you would be questioned or watched, or your phone would be tapped. If I had called or written, the FBI would have found me."
"That's true," Hood said. "The FBI did come to my apartment. They questioned me, without telling me what you'd done, and I agreed to let them know if I heard from you."
"You did?" she seemed surprised. "You'd have turned me in?"
"Yes," he said. "Only I never would have abandoned you."
"You'd have had no choice," she said. "There would have been a trial, I'd have gone to prison--"
"That's true. But I'd have waited."
"Twenty years?"
"If that's how long it took," Hood said. "But it wouldn't have. Industrial espionage committed by a young woman in love-- you'd have been able to plea-bargain and been free in five years."
"Five years," she said. "And then you'd have married a criminal?"
"No. You."
"Okay, an ex-con. No one would've trusted me-- or you-- around any kind of a secret. Your dreams of a life in politics, would have ended."
"So what?" he said. "Instead, I felt as though my life had ended."
Nancy stopped speaking. She smiled again. "Poor Paul," she said. "That's all very romantic and just a little theatrical,