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By Root 505 0

a dream or an incident, and the other members, often including the therapist, then attempt to interpret it by asking pertinent questions. As long as White answers the questions, each member continues his inquiries until he finds a question White cannot answer. Then Black sits back with a knowing look which says: ‘Aha! If you could answer that one, you would certainly get better, so I have done my part.’ (This is a distant relative of ‘Why Don’t You – Yes But’.) Some therapy groups are based almost entirely on this game, and may go on for years with only minimal change or progress. ‘Tell Me This’ allows much latitude to White (the patient) who, for example, can play along with it by feeling ineffectual; or he can counter it by answering all the questions offered, in which case the anger and dismay of the other players soon becomes manifest, since he is throwing back at them, ‘I’ve answered all your questions and you haven’t cured me, so what does that make you?’

‘Tell Me This’ is also played in schoolrooms, where the pupils know that the ‘right’ answer to an open-ended question asked by a certain type of teacher is not to be found by processing the factual data, but by guessing or outguessing which of several possible answers will make the teacher happy. A pedantic variant occurs in teaching ancient Greek; the teacher always has the upper hand over the pupil, and can make him look stupid and prove it in print by pointing to some obscure feature of the text. This is also often played in teaching Hebrew.

6 · STUPID

Thesis. In its milder form, the thesis of ‘Stupid’ is, ‘I laugh with you at my own clumsiness and stupidity.’ Seriously disturbed people, however, may play it in a sullen way which says, ‘I am stupid, that’s the way I am, so do me something.’ Both forms are played from a depressive position. ‘Stupid’ must be distinguished from ‘Schlemiel’, where the position is more aggressive, and the clumsiness is a bid for forgiveness. It must also be distinguished from ‘Clown’, which is not a game but a pastime which reinforces the position ‘I am cute and harmless.’ The critical transaction in ‘Stupid’ is for White to make Black call him stupid or respond as though he were stupid. Hence White acts like a Schlemiel but does not ask for forgiveness; in fact forgiveness makes him uneasy, because it threatens his position. Or he behaves clownishly, but with no implication that he is kidding; he wants his behaviour to be taken seriously, as evidence of real stupidity. There is considerable external gain, since the less White learns, the more effectively he can play. Hence at school he need not study, and at work he need not go out of his way to learn anything that might lead to advancement. He has known from an early age that everyone will be satisfied with him as long as he is stupid, despite any expressions to the contrary. People are surprised when in time of stress, if he decides to come through, it turns out that he is not stupid at all – any more than is the ‘stupid’ younger son in the fairy tale.

Antithesis. The antithesis of the milder form is simple. By not playing, by not laughing at the clumsiness or railing at the stupidity, the anti-‘Stupid’ player will make a friend for life. One of the subtleties is that this game is often played by cyclothymic or manic-depressive personalities. When such people are euphoric, it seems as though they really want their associates to join in their laughter at themselves. It is often hard not to, for they give the impression that they will resent an abstainer – which in a way they do, since he threatens their position and spoils the game. But when they are depressed, and their resentment against those who laughed with or at them comes into the open, the abstainer knows that he has acted correctly. He may be the only one the patient is willing to have in the room or talk to when he is withdrawn, and all the former ‘friends’ who enjoyed the game are now treated as enemies.

It is no use telling White that he is not really stupid. He may actually be of quite limited intelligence